


Don't Jump

by J_Linz



Category: Original Work
Genre: Actor - Freeform, British Male Character, F/M, Football | Soccer, Inktober 2019, Las Vegas, Marriage Proposal, NaNoWriMo 2019, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Sexual Content, Written Not Drawn, elope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2020-11-27 06:44:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 30,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20944064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Linz/pseuds/J_Linz
Summary: Feeling good after work, Tamara Henderson is walking to her bus stop when she notices that there's a man on top of a scaffold... and it looks like he's about to jump to his death! Feeling that it's the right thing to do, Tamara rushes to talk the man down, only to find out that he's not going to jump after all. Tamara just interrupted a movie scene, that's all.Thomas Lamb is an up and coming actor as well as a decent soccer player and he's going to be in town for a spell. With the two of them bumping into each other once more, getting to know one another, Tamara has to will herself not to fall in love with the oh so charming Brit.{Rating is subject to change but highly doubt it}{First Draft/As-Is}





	1. Disclaimers

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or otherwise, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Any mention of brand name or known organizations belongs to their respective companies. I make no monetary value in the writing of this story.

This is my Inktober project but instead of images (because I can't draw), have some words instead! The plan is to have this story make sense using said prompts so these chapters should be short and sweet. 

This story is being posted as-is AKA first draft. There _will_ be mistakes, please bear with them if possible.

If you would like to participate in this year's Inktober, here is the list of words for each day!

Ring

Mindless

Bait

Freeze

Build

Husky

Enchanted

Frail

Swing

Pattern

Snow

Dragon

Ash

Overgrown

Legend

Wild

Ornament

Misfit

Sling

Tread

Treasure

Ghost

Ancient

Dizzy

Tasty

Dark

Coat

Ride

Injured

Catch

Ripe


	2. Ring

Walking downtown was something that was an everyday thing for me: depending on who you asked, I was either fortunate or unfortunate that the office I worked in was located dead smack in the center of everything. Some people hated downtown more than anything but I enjoyed it for all it had to offer.

Plus, being there made me feel like I was in some sort of 80s/90s movie.

I had just gotten off work, I was running late because I had gone out of the way to make sure a customer’s account was reactivated. I could have just transferred the call to a manager but no, his situation was fucked up and I prided myself in finding the solution. It took an hour but it was done and I would be recognized for my hard work. 

I was already late so I idly walked down the street, taking the scenery in. The sun was setting and the orange hues made for a beautiful backdrop on the buildings and trees. The next bus wouldn’t arrive for another fifteen minutes so I had plenty of time to stroll casually. Even if I missed it, there was no real rush to get home; I had no one there to tend to.

I was glad that for once, I paid attention to my surroundings. I would have missed the man above me on a scaffolding slightly attached to a building. I strained my neck to look at him and had to admit that he was a bit stunning. I loved a man in a suit and his was a bluish-gray that seemed tailored to fit him. The orange from the setting sun made a ring on his finger glint slightly but not enough to blind anyone, or even bring any attention to himself: I just so happened to have been looking around to see him.

Something made my heart thump hard though, and I knew it wasn’t the fact that he was a good-looking chocolate man. No, there was something a bit off about this and then I realized why. What was a man in a suit doing on a scaffolding: those were made for workers… right? He stared blankly ahead but I knew I had to do something to grab his attention.

This man was gonna jump.

I still had some do-gooder left in me from resolving that call and I made my way towards the scaffold. My voice caught in my throat for a second before I decided on what to say. “H-Hey! Mister, don’t do it! There’s so much to life, so much that you’re overlooking. Don’t end it like that, someone will miss you terribly! Life is so precious and for you to ju–”

“ _ Cut _ !” a grumbly voice came from my left. The guy whose life I was trying to save just gave me a look of confusion before I spun around towards the voice.  _ That’s  _ when I noticed the camera crew and the director who glared at me. “How did she get over here?”

My cheeks ached as I slowly realized what was going on and I looked back up at the guy on the scaffolding. Now that I was in my right mind… the structure wasn’t even that high up: had he jumped, he would’ve only sprained an ankle or broken a bone, worst-case scenario. A couple of people helped the man down and wow, he was much taller than I expected. He approached me with a chuckle.

“Don’t worry love, jumping was not in the plans for today.” a British accent rang out and it took everything for my toes not to curl. Instead, I did the next best thing: gawked and tried to form my words. Someone came by and grabbed me by my arm, escorting me away from the scene. “Be nice, she was only looking out for my well being.” the guy responded with a smile and I switched glances between him, the director and the guy escorting me away.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I thought…” it was pointless so I closed my mouth as the guy pulled me back towards the street. He eventually chuckled as he looked at me.

“Good to know there’s still some good Samaritans out here! Don’t worry about it, there should’ve been some signs posted about us filming. I guess not. This would be the part where I offered to make you an extra but one, I don’t have that authority and two, I think we’ve already filled the quota on extras.” he explained but I couldn’t help but look past him to the British dream.

“It’s, it’s okay. Is he… famous?”

“Who, Thomas? Depends on who you ask… and where you’re from. He’s huge in Britain and on Broadway. This is a short being filmed, a project of his, actually. Maybe you should be on the lookout for it?”

“Ah. Okay.” if I had to be honest with myself, I wasn’t a huge TV person, I didn’t even have cable in the apartment. But Thomas was good-looking, tall  _ and _ charming, and that was in the few seconds he had spoken to me. I would definitely search the fuck out of Google when I got home.

“Well, take care and keep up the good work, talking people out of offing themselves!” the guy smirked and winked before turning to go back to the set. I kept my grumbling in, knowing that even strangers wouldn’t let me live the moment down.


	3. Mindless

His name was Thomas Lamb, and it took me a while to find him on the internet! To be fair, my search was limited to his first name and the fact that he was British: there was a shit-ton of British actors named Thomas. The rest of my night was spent following him on Instagram and Twitter as well as finding the movies that he made appearances in on a not-named but possibly pirate site for movies. He was never a main character, only a side character with just a few lines if any at all (he played a mute character in one movie). But on Instagram, he was lively and I felt was well deserving of at least being someone’s costar. He received a follow from me automatically… after I made an Instagram account.

My real life and online friends got a kick out of the story I told, particularly when I told them how high the scaffolding was from the ground. But, I had good intentions damnit! Nevertheless, I got shit for it and I knew I would for probably the rest of my life. Well, at least I wouldn’t hear about it from Thomas because I knew for sure that would be the first and last time I ever saw him in person.

A week had gone by and the film crew no longer filmed in that area of downtown. I had a feeling that I ruined things and they had to find somewhere else to film whatever scenes Thomas was working on, which according to his Twitter, was a “secret project” he was working on. The only reason why I even thought about it was because I never got a chance to apologize to him personally and really wanted to.

But, he was probably long gone from the area, possibly back in London spending time with his family.

Saturday was my grocery shopping day and I had an awful habit of letting my food get down to crumbs before I remembered to buy it. Despite my weight and figure, I was never the one to truly pig out unless I was depressed and thankfully, that happened far and in between nowadays. I still needed to get out of the habit of letting my cabinets become bare before going grocery shopping.

I never made out a list, I automatically knew what I needed to buy. My meals hardly ever changed and I stuck with the basics most of the time. Spaghetti, pork chops, some sort of chicken meal… nothing extravagant unless it was for a holiday meal and even then, I more than likely just went over to my parents’ and brought back a couple of plates of leftovers. So my shopping was mindless, even on auto-pilot as I threw items in my basket.

My mind was so blank that I just rounded the corner without a second thought… only to bump hard into someone else’s basket. “Oh, God; I’m so sor–” my words left me yet again when I looked to see who I had bumped into. 

It was him. It was Thomas. And he carried the same smile from the last time. 

I wanted to run the other way, I looked like complete trash in a pair of sweats that were a size too big for me, a novelty shirt that I had worn so much, it had holes at the bottom and on the right sleeve and of course, no bra. At least I had enough sense to throw a bandanna over my hair because my dreads were getting retwisted the next day. Not that it mattered because the rest of me was an awful sight.

“Oh, it’s you. The woman from the street.” great, he remembered me. I was hoping that he wouldn’t remember, that he was just another celebrity who didn’t give a shit about the commoners. It sure looked that way online because he only responded to those who he actually knew and worked with. It was a reason why I didn’t let myself daydream about the two of us meeting again; I knew that it would only make me highly disappointed as he brushed me off.

But, Thomas hadn’t brushed me off. He stood there, still with a nice smile perhaps fighting laughter because _ he remembered that day when I made a complete idiot of myself _. 

“I, uh… yeah,” I swallowed hard and blushed. Thankfully, I was a couple of shades lighter than him so it was hard to know that I was blushing unless one paid strict attention. I tried to stop myself because Thomas was possibly one of those perceptive ones. In doing so, I realized something. “W-What are you doing here?”

“Shopping?” he quirked a brow at me. I would’ve usually retaliated with an equally sarcastic reply but there was just something about Thomas that reduced me to a mere chuckle.

“I get that. I meant, well, aren’t you supposed to be filming somewhere?”

“Usually you’d be right but I’ve found myself a temporary resident here. I hate to sound egotistical but, do you know who I am?” he asked and it was a damning question. If I said yes then he would more than likely reveal something that I should have known. 

I opted for the safe route and semi-lied as I shook my head. Had I not tried to save his life, I would have never come across him on the internet: Thomas was a good actor but he played in movies that I had little to no interest in. “Which means you’re not into soccer.” he lightly chuckled and I felt that it was a confusing acknowledgment. 

To be fair, he was right.

“I know that there’s a team here but that’s about it. I’m more into basketball and hockey. Wait, are you gonna tell me that you play for the team here?” it was my turn to quirk a brow and Thomas laughed a bit.

“You sound surprised. Soccer is my first love, acting comes second. If I had a choice, soccer would be the only thing I do.”

“You don’t have a choice?” I asked and was caught off guard when he leaned over and gently grabbed my arm. My face was on fire for a moment until he moved me out of the way; I was standing in the aisle and someone had been trying to get past me.

“Perhaps… we should continue this talk elsewhere?” he asked and I knew that I had an awful poker face. Meaning, I had none and Thomas saw it because his face changed a bit. “Unless you have somewhere to be?”

“O-Oh. No. M-Maybe… we can get something to eat?” I stammered and looked away. 

Did I just ask Thomas Lamb out on a date…?

Didn’t he ask first, though? I was pretty sure that I was overthinking things. He could just be an overly nice person, to me, a stranger who accused him of trying to end his life. 

Thomas laughed a bit and I put my attention back to him, his eyes sparkling. “Sounds wonderful.”


	4. Bait

I wasn’t worried about my groceries going bad; it was a cool day as it was and we wouldn’t be in the restaurant for long. So, they were the last things on my mind as we sat at the bar of what just so happened to be  _ both _ of our favorite restaurant. If Thomas had ordered the same food as I did, I would’ve walked out because then I would  _ know _ that this whole thing was a prank! 

I didn’t know how to do conversations right and was glad that he picked up the mantle. “So, what do you do–” he made a face but then laughed. “–You never told me your name.”

“Well, this is the first time you asked,” I laughed along with him, more comfortable than I had been in a while in his presence. “Tamara.” I didn’t know what else to do other than stick my hand out at him. I was socially awkward, no matter how many friends I had. I made friends on accident, with them sticking to me until I had no other choice  _ but  _ to call them a friend!

Thomas took my hand and my cheeks suddenly ached with a fierceness as he gently kissed it. “A pleasure. Thomas, if you didn’t know already. Am I being too forward?” it felt like an eternity before he let go of my hand.

“W-What?”

“You’re blushing,” he smirked and I stopped myself from rubbing at my cheeks in the hopes of making the rosiness disappear. 

Instead, I pursed my lips and looked at my drink. “It’s not everyday someone kisses my hand.”

“That’s a shame. All beautiful women should experience that at least, a few times in their life.” the way he smiled at me made my entire body flush. All I could do was stare at Thomas’ kissable lips, and I wanted him to lean in so bad to kiss me, I could taste it.

It took me to blink a few times to break the trance he put me in and I cleared my throat. “I-Is that how you bait your women into sleeping with you?” it came out before I could stop it. 

Thankfully, Thomas roared with laughter. “You are something else! What makes you say that?”

“You, um,” I took in a deep breath because I didn’t know how he would take what I was about to say. “Your voice is like ear candy, and then you know exactly what to say.”

“That is the first time I’ve heard anyone say that to me,” he continued to laugh but looked at me. “I don’t  _ bait _ women into sleeping with me. Usually, when I say what’s on my mind, it gets me in trouble,” he said and I bit my tongue to keep from blurting out the first thing that came to mind. 

_ Womanizer. _

“Trouble like a smack across the face trouble or…?”

“I don’t just blurt things out, that would definitely gain me a slap across the face,” he chuckled. “American women are… strange. I’ve realized that the lot of you aren’t used to basic compliments, or feel those compliments mean a man wants to sleep with them. Are American men that barbaric?” he took a sip of his drink and I shrugged.

“No, just most, regardless of nationality.” I eyed him quickly but before I could turn away– because I was definitely being a smart ass– I saw that Thomas gave me a dignified look.

“You’re lucky you already made a lasting impression on me…” 

“I suppose so. Glad you don’t think I’m some crazy person!”

“I’ve long figured that your heart is in the right place. Sometimes, that’s all that matters,” he nodded and gave me such a simple smile. “Now, what do you do for a living?”

“Oh! Well, it’s not as thrilling as playing soccer or acting. I’m just a customer service rep for a cable company.”

“I’ve heard horror stories. You poor thing…” Thomas shook his head and then grabbed the bartender’s attention. “She’s going to need a strong drink,” he said to her and I laughed heartily.


	5. Freeze

I stayed there longer than I expected to, with the two of us simply drinking, talking and laughing. Once the liquor kicked in, it wasn’t hard for me to look at Thomas as a regular person. To be honest, he would’ve been had I never Googled him. 

I knew dick about soccer but from what I gathered, Thomas was a goalie on loan– apparently, soccer teams could _rent_ players and the reasons ranged from trying to improve said player to improving the team with said player. Thomas didn’t know why he was loaned out but I had a feeling that it was why he had mentioned the whole having a choice thing. A major part of me didn’t want him to be a bad player; I tried to reason with myself that if he was bad, he wouldn’t be a part of a team period, right? Maybe Thomas couldn’t get one of those big deals and acting was a way to make up for it. With his portfolio, he might not have been a millionaire but I was sure that he earned enough to live comfortably. 

Maybe that’s what he meant about if he had a choice.

I was awful at making friends but Thomas made it feel easy. We talked all the time about any and everything. I had no idea why he somewhat latched unto me but he did and I knew I shouldn’t complain. Thomas was fun to be around and we had a bit in common. Plus– if I had to be honest with myself– it was cool to be around a celebrity.

It had been almost a month since we’d met and the two of us had some sort of routine. Soccer season was underway so I knew that Thomas would be in town for a while. So, if he had a home game, we would hang out a bit afterward with a few of his teammates. Away games, I didn’t get to see him but we talked on the phone. Regardless, I always looked forward to his texts and calls, there was just something about them that made me smile big time.

It was one of Thomas’s rare off days, where he didn’t have practice or a game or even something to do with his acting. I waited patiently-but-not for him to call or text me because even though we were buddies, I still wasn’t comfortable enough to text or call him first. That, by the way, drove him up the wall so I was slowly trying to break that habit.

But not today. I was leaving work when he finally texted me.

_Could you meet me at the bar? I need a fucking drink…_

Although there was a shit-ton of bars in the city, I knew which one he meant: our favorite one. I was a bit worried about the tone of the text; Thomas was pissed about something for him to have worded it the way that he did. Nevertheless, I skipped my usual bus ride and walked to the bar, texting him as I walked.

The scene was how it was supposed to be for after work: a bit crowded with folks who needed something to wash their work troubles away. I had done it more times than I wanted to remember. Thomas wasn’t hard to spot, he had to be one of the tallest men in the city, even sitting down. He was built more like a lineman rather than a goalie but not overly massive and bulky. Thomas almost always kept his hair short but when he missed a haircut, it would grow and curl into knots, like how someone with really short hair started their dreadlock growth. I loved the look but he always complained and called himself a lazy bastard for letting his hair grow “out of control like this”. 

With me having dreads for so long, I was probably biased about the hairstyle.

There was an empty seat next to him so I slid into it, no questions asked. He finished whatever was in his glass and pushed it towards the bartender. While he did indeed look highly pissed, I couldn’t tell if he was actually drunk. Thomas simply looked at me. “You’re a bit late.”

“Oh, I didn’t know I was on a time schedule.” I tried to lighten his mood but it didn’t seem to work as he scoffed and rolled his eyes, something I wasn’t used to. “Okay, before you say something that’ll make me leave, what’s going on with you?” I asked.

Thomas sighed and looked at me fully. “Sorry Love. Didn’t mean to take it out on you. I get a certain way when I get down and I overreact on normal things. I’m sure you weren’t late at all.” he apologized. I nodded and saw that the bartender came by but before I could open my mouth: “Two vodka freezes.” Thomas ordered for the both of us.

“What’s a vodka freeze?”

“Something you’ll love. Trust me.” he looked at me and I noticed that his smile didn’t reach his eyes like they usually did. 

I waited for the bartender to leave before I spoke. “Don’t beat around the bush, Thomas. What happened?”

“I found out that my wife has been cheating on me,” he said after a long pause. I could only gawk at him for a moment before I figured out what I wanted to say.

“I take it you have proof?”

“More than you can shake a stick at. I just… I had a gut feeling but I always tried to tell myself that I was just paranoid. I think that hurts the most, that I should’ve listened to that gut feeling because _it was right_.” he nearly spat out. I put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it.

“That makes you human. To ignore a gut feeling and to try to go with your heart. We always want that happy ending.”

“It makes you bloody blind.” he clenched his fists. Before I could stop myself, I covered one of his fists with my hand. I felt the tenseness leave immediately and he patted my hand. “I wanted my best mate to be with me right now.”

“Oh. Unfortunately, you got me for right now so–”

“_You’re_ my best mate, you silly bird!” Thomas let out a genuine laugh and I followed suit. Our drinks appeared in front of us and I studied mine for a moment before taking a sip.

“Oh, that _is_ good.”

“Told you,” he smirked and sipped on his.

“I hate to ask but… what’s your next move?” I was glad that he only sighed out at the question.

“I’m not sure. She said she’s confused about who she really wants.”

“That’s not fair. It should be you, right? I mean, that’s who she married. But, what would I know about stuff like that?” I shrugged.

“No, you’re right. You’re bloody right. I’ve been sitting here, trying to figure out what have I done to where she would have to even _think_ about who she wants. Have I been away too much? Perhaps but she knew my schedule before we got married. Do I flirt publicly? Not really–”

“Not really?” I quirked a brow at him and he gave me a playful shove.

“I may have said a couple of questionable things, to where some people might interpret it as me being single,” he tried to explain but I knew exactly what he was talking about. There were quite a few pictures Thomas had taken with females that I assumed worked with him during films or productions. The pictures themselves were harmless, it was the captions that made me believe that he was a womanizer.

“Do you really think it was enough to make her cheat?”

“No. I don’t think,” he trailed off and then suddenly went for his phone. He scrolled for a moment and then showed me his phone. “Be honest. If you were with me, how would you take that?” he asked. Was it bad that I already knew which picture he would show me? Thomas had three women hugged up on him, the picture itself was actually cute and funny, with the overexaggerated duck faces two of the women were donning. It was posted on his Twitter with the hashtag: lucky man. 

“Well… I would be pissed _but_ I tend to get jealous. It’s not even the picture, it’s what you hashtagged.” I felt good that I told him the truth.

Thomas sighed a bit. “Yes, I admit, I’m a moron. At the time, I thought it was funny but then remembered that not everyone knows about our inside joke. All three of those ladies are gay. Well, I suppose lesbian would be the right word.”

“You don’t have to be all pc in front of me, I get it.” I chuckled.

“But, would _that_ be a reason for you to cheat on me? If you were my wife?” he asked and my cheeks oddly ached at the question. 

“N-No. I’m also not her so there’s no telling what she was thinking. Me personally, I would’ve only been pissed for a little while, at least until you told me the full story.” 

“You’re a good one.”

“You’d have to do more than just post a picture of you and some women for me to cheat! All joking aside, I wish I could tell you why it happened. There are a ton of reasons why people cheat.”

“I know, Love. It just burns because I’ve never cheated on her.” he sighed out and took a huge gulp of his freeze.

“Never?” I quirked a brow.

“Never. Perhaps thirty years ago, I would’ve. I’m way too bloody old to play games like that now.”

I almost spat out my drink and then looked at him. “_How_ long ago?”

“Oh, come off it! Are you going to tell me that I look good for my age? All of this bloody gray in my hair?”

“Thomas, you’re fucking delusional. I don’t see any gray in your hair!” I laughed.

“There’s a reason why I like to be clean-shaven.”

“Well, some women like the salt and pepper look.” I shrugged but still couldn’t get over the fact that he may have been older than I thought.

“I’ll take your word on it. I’m fifty-five, by the way.” of course, he waited until I was in mid-drink to tell me that, and this time around, I _did_ spit my drink out! Thomas burst into laughter and immediately tried to clean up my mess.

“You are _not_ fifty-five!” I managed after settling down halfway. Thomas gave me a smirk and then pulled his wallet out, removing what I figured would be his driver’s license.

Before he handed it to me, I forgot that Thomas was British and therefore would definitely have a British driver’s license. And to say that it was fucking weird and all over the place was an understatement. Everything was numbered and I felt like I needed a key guide to explain the damn thing. After a moment, I found that he was right: Thomas really was fifty-five, about to be fifty-six in a month! I could do nothing but stare at him as he took his ID away from me.

Thomas looked damn good for his age. He was in better shape than myself and since I was sitting close to him, I could see no wrinkles in his face, no rugged, worn-down features. He was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome, with charm to boot.

Why in the ever-loving fuck did his wife cheat on him…?

“Go on and say it.” he interrupted my inner thoughts and I blushed once again.

“You age wonderfully. I want to look as good as you when _I _get in my fifties!” I blurted out. The smile he gave me was one I had never seen before; was Thomas blushing?

“You just don’t know how good that makes me feel…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vodka Freeze Recipe!
> 
> 1 1/2 oz Vodka  
1 oz Blue Curacao   
1/2 oz Fresh lemon juice  
3 to 4 oz Sprite (or whatever lemon-lime soda you prefer)  
1/2 cup Ice  
1 Lemon slice or wedge for garnish


	6. Build

Thomas’ marriage was coming to an end and I had no idea how I felt about that. A part of me wanted to talk to her, to get her side of the story. Not that I didn’t trust Thomas’s word but what he presented to me was as close to a perfect man as anyone could get; why would anyone cheat on goodness?

But, she didn’t know me and I was in no mood to have another awkward encounter. Besides, Thomas told me to not worry my pretty little head about it.

When I first met Thomas, I had to admit that there were a few lusty things going through my mind. Had his marriage crumbled during that time, I would have been plotting to celebrate and make him lean towards myself. 

I lied. I was a social mess and would have made a fool out of myself so I probably would’ve just daydreamed about the man coming on to me. A good thing because I saw that he loved his wife and was just as confused as I was, along with a bit heartbroken. All I could do was try to be there for him, no matter how much a teeny part of me wanted to break out in a chorus of “Ding dong, the witch is dead”.

I know, how mature of me.

To say that I was disappointed that Thomas didn’t make a move on me was an understatement. Maybe I wasn’t as beautiful as he said I was; he was probably being polite with me. Maybe I needed to throw the hint out but I couldn’t. My palms got sweaty just  _ thinking _ about having that talk with him. For all I knew, Thomas was still pining over his wife, and as unhealthy as that was, I was too chicken shit to tell him so: I would have to live with being his best mate.

Which wasn’t a bad thing, honestly. I got to experience things that I had never thought about, like an upcoming trip to his cabin in some snowy region I had never heard of! Also, tickets to see him in action on the soccer field whenever I wasn’t working. Of course, Thomas had to give me a quick course on the sport but it only went in one ear and out the other! I mean, I knew the basics: other players can’t touch the ball with their hands, try to stop the other team from scoring a goal. Everything else gave me a slight headache so I told myself that I would either take refresher courses on Youtube or just go along with the crowd as far as the action going on.

I knew that it was a rare treat for spectators but I found myself on the field before the game started, actually before the teams would officially warm up. I took notice that soccer players had a different build than the athletes I was used to: these guys were lean and toned all around. It made me notice Thomas all the more as he jogged towards me. Like I said, he was built more for football so it looked a bit weird to see him on a soccer field. The weather was becoming a bit cooler so Thomas had on those athletic leggings underneath his shorts: his legs were just as defined as the rest of him and I really liked that. Another turn-on of mine was arms and Thomas had enough guns to supply the Marine Corps.

Oh God, no wonder he never hit on me: I’m lame as fuck…

Thankfully, he couldn’t read minds and smiled at me. “You actually made it, Love!”

“Y-Yeah, I switched days with someone so I figured–”

“You didn’t have to do that for me.” his smile widened and I had no idea if he was joking around or not. If not, then I felt like shit because it was a coincidence that a coworker texted me last night about switching shifts with him.

I made up my mind to tell him the truth but before I could say anything, a just as equally tall man came from behind Thomas and roughly threw his arm over his shoulder. This guy was a knockout, with curly blond hair and hazel eyes. When he smiled, dimples appeared which made him look younger than what he probably was. I held my breath when he looked at me, and that smile widened. “Well, now. Don’t be rude, Tom; introduce me to your girlfriend,” he said and I nearly choked on air.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Thomas said after laughing a bit. “You Americans and your assumptions.”

“You called her ‘love’.” the guy pointed out.

“I call everyone Love. Now, if I had said ‘pet’,  _ then  _ your assumption would be right.” Thomas said and the guy smirked.

“And they call  _ us _ silly! I’m Ryan, by the way.” he introduced himself and stuck his hand out. I went to shake his hand and noticed that he held my hand longer than what would be considered friendly.

“T-Tamara.”

“Hmm, soft hands,” he quirked a brow as he gently rubbed his thumb over my hand. The move sent goosebumps all over my body. “What do you do for a living? If you say a hand model, I’d believe it!”

“She does customer service for the cable company,” Thomas answered for me and I gave him a slight look. It was enough for Ryan to finally let go of my hand.

“Ah. So, I can call you for help on an installment?”

“O-Oh. I don’t know how to install anything. I just set the appointments… and get cussed out when the installer is late.” I smirked. Ryan chuckled and I was almost mesmerized by how his eyes gleamed.

“Well, that’s not fair! You make sure to tell your husband to give you a soothing rubdown after work.”

“I, I don’t have a husband. Or a boyfriend, for that matter.” I semi-rushed when I saw that Ryan opened his mouth. He closed it and gave me such a predatory look, I was frozen in my spot.

“Hmm. Too bad,” he licked his lips and I fully expected for him to show off fangs, I felt so much like prey. I hadn’t come to the conclusion if that was a good or bad thing at the moment. “Well don’t expect Tom here to do that for you. Poor guy is all thumbs. It’s a miracle he can save anything.” Ryan shrugged and he almost found himself flat on his ass, Thomas had shoved him so hard. I covered my mouth to keep from laughing.

I had to get to my seat soon afterward and had to admit that it was a pretty good seat. I still didn’t know how much I would be able to follow but I could see the players and the field very well. I was glad that I wasn’t so socially awkward to have a panic attack with a crowd because it was like a swarm. No one tried to sit down, especially when the match started. I found out that this game was important because it determined who would make it into the playoffs. This bit of news made me mad; why didn’t Thomas tell me that? I felt like an idiot, not wearing any of the team’s colors.

Thomas and Ryan played their asses off, crushing their opponents and were now in the playoffs. Watching Thomas make a bunch of saves and Ryan, who I found out was a center forward– arguably one of the most important positions beside the goalies– score all but one of the goals was very exciting. I felt like their personal cheerleader, even almost losing my voice. 

I got a text from Thomas, asking me to meet them by the locker room. I didn’t have enough credentials to be  _ in _ the locker room but I could get close enough. On my way there, I heard folks talking around the corner. What made me stop was that the British accent sounded awfully familiar.

“–is all I’m saying.” 

“Tom… are you trying to get with Tamara? Because if you are, I can easily back off.” that sounded like Ryan. My heart sped up, waiting on Thomas to answer. I had a slight feeling that Ryan was interested. I may have wondered  _ why _ but I wasn’t stupid; I knew the signs!

It felt like forever before Thomas answered. “I’m not,” he said and I should’ve known. I still felt bad and a part of me wanted to cry for some odd reason.

I took a deep breath and wiped at my eyes before deciding to walk around the corner. “Oh, hey! Guess I was taking too long?” 

“Of course not, Love. Perfect timing.” Thomas gave me that warm smile of his. 

“So, I was thinking that we should celebrate! I saw you, by the way, cheering for us.” Ryan smirked and I blushed. “You just might’ve been my good luck charm; I’ve never scored that many goals in one game before. You’re going to have to come to all the games from here on out!” he chuckled and I couldn’t help but join him. 

“I guess I have no problem with that.” I smiled at him, and just like that, I tried to forget about the conversation they had seconds ago.

Why did I even think that Thomas would want to be with me?


	7. Husky

I shouldn’t let myself dwell on the fact that Thomas didn’t like me in that way. I was still on the fence as far as if I truly felt attracted to him as it was. Sure, he was a very handsome man. I loved to see him smile because it made me smile: I had never met anyone with such a beautiful and wholesome smile like his before. Thomas carried himself well, almost distinguished as though he was meant for royalty. Yet, he was really humble and appreciative of the little things. Also, he was tall and built like a powerhouse even if he was in his fifties. And then that sultry British accent: I could listen to him talk all day.

I, where was I going with this…?

Right, attraction level. Okay, he was damn near the perfect man and any woman would be a fool to not fall for him. Did that make me the fool then, because I was trying hard  _ not  _ to fall for Thomas? I mean, it didn’t matter, especially seeing that I wouldn’t get that affection in return from him. He friend-zoned me and perhaps that was where I was meant to be with him.

The one thing I knew absolutely sure of was that Ryan was interested in me. In fact, he may have been showing it a bit too much. Any other woman would’ve been annoyed but it was rare that I got that type of treatment from any man so I somewhat relished in it. After the three of us got shit-faced at the bar, I found out that me and him exchanged numbers, and he texted me almost as much as Thomas did. 

I felt a bit conflicted because a part of me believed that I was betraying Thomas by thinking about Ryan in  _ that _ way. Even more so when Ryan asked me out to dinner and I told Thomas about it over the phone.

“Oh,” he said and there was a long pause.

“Okay, what?” I got antsy from the pause and Thomas sighed.

“It’s nothing. Just me being moody. I’ve gotten so used to it being just me and you hanging out. Does that make me weird?” he chuckled and I had to think about it.

“Actually, no. Wait.  _ Yes _ ,” I said and he let out a full laugh. “You act like I’m your only friend?”

“I have associates here. You, Love, are my only true friend,” he said sincerely and I was at a loss of words. How did I attract friendships like that? I literally did nothing but open my mouth and  _ boom _ , I was now his best friend.

“I, I feel like celebrating then! Do you want me to cancel my plans? Because I can.”

“What? No! We have all the time in the world to hang out. Go enjoy your dinner with Ryan. Just, be careful with him.”

“What? What do you mean?” I asked and there wasn’t as long of a pause like before but there it was before he sighed.

“He has a bit of a… track record.”

“A track record? So… he’s a bad guy? Then, why are you friends with him?” I tilted my head as though Thomas could see me do it.

“Again Love:  _ associates _ . I just think that he won’t treat you as well as–” another fucking pause.

“Continue,” I smirked but in reality, my heart was pounding a hundred miles per hour.

“As well as he should.” he finally continued and I nodded.

“Gotcha,” I said and continued to get ready, keeping his warning in the back of my mind. For a second there, I knew for sure that Thomas was gonna say something else.

Silly me…

I thought about what Thomas said the whole trip to the restaurant and it slightly bothered me. If Ryan was bad enough for Thomas to send me some type of warning, then why did he let me go on this date? Besides the fact that Thomas and I were just friends and it would look weird to Ryan if I told him  _ Thomas said no to eating dinner with you _ .

Hooray, I answered my own question… I think.

I didn’t feel any bad vibes from Ryan, only just a bit of over-eagerness. Again, I wasn’t an ordinary woman and that could’ve very well been a red flag. Usually, men showed their true intentions early enough for me to leave the relationship altogether so if Thomas’s instincts were right, *I had a great head start.

But, I couldn’t shake the flustered feeling when me and Ryan’s eyes met as soon as I walked inside the restaurant. In the movies, the man would still sit there, stuck and mesmerized by the beautiful blonde that would be his date. But Ryan immediately got up and approached me with a smile that could melt a snowman. 

“Wow! You look great.” he probably lied because I felt  _ really _ uncomfortable right then and there. It wasn’t Ryan but what I had on. I knew that I was a husky gal, I was always truthful to myself. But I had on a nearly skintight dress that showed more fat rolls than curves. I had no idea what convinced me to wear that particular dress.

Regardless, Ryan showed me to our table and even pulled a seat out for me. How could this man have a track record; he was showing that chivalry was not dead! The move made me smirk as I sat and I was caught looking deep into his eyes as he smiled at me. “It feels good to finally be alone with you. Thought I had to fight Tom for your time.” he chuckled and I blushed.

“Thomas is a good friend, apparently my best friend now.”

“You sound shocked about that.” when the server came by with the champagne– why did he order us champagne, I had no idea– Ryan took the bottle from her after she opened it and poured into my glass first.

“He never told you how we met?” 

“Well, we mostly talk soccer and politics. But now that you’ve mentioned it, how  _ did _ you two meet?” he smiled and I couldn’t help but grumble loudly.

Was this a date? Yes, it was a date: our date was going smoothly and I had long stopped trying to find chinks in Ryan’s armor. The conversations were mostly about me oddly, with Ryan lightly brushing off details about himself whenever I asked. I got the notion that he had rather talked about me than him and I had to admit that it was admirable. I wasn’t even worried that Ryan had drunk most of the champagne, and we were on bottle number three: he had much more during the night at the bar and was a civilized drunk! 

Maybe I would be the one who was different in his life?

“Tamara… I want to tell you something but I don’t want you to hate me for it.” he looked at me and for some reason, all I could hear were the slight ringing of sirens.

“Are you gonna ruin this great time by telling me this has been a setup?” I beat him to the punch but it only made Ryan laugh.

“No, this  _ definitely _ wasn’t a setup! I’m having a great time and I just want to be open and honest with you. You can blame it on the champagne if you want. But, um… if you’re looking for a faithful relationship out of this, you’re going to be highly disappointed.” that was  _ not _ what I had expected to hear from him. 

“That’s, uh, mighty blunt of you…” I finally said after sitting there in silence, debating on if I heard right. That predatory grin from our first meeting reappeared as he leaned closer to me.

“You’re a sweet girl, and that turns me on more than you can imagine. But, I really,  _ really _ love women, and I can’t see myself settling down just yet with only one, no matter how sweet and gorgeous she is,” before I could blink, his hand reached out towards me, and his fingers grazed across my cheek. The simple move was electrifying. “I’d treat you like a princess, try to give you anything you want.”

“Just, not you fully.” I had to will myself to move away from his touch.

“Sorry, no. You’d be my main girl if that’s any consolation. And I wouldn’t bring anything to you, you know? I’m clean and I don’t like the idea of kids running around. Or, if you just want to have sex, I’m a-ok with that!” he smirked. Regardless of how stunned I was with his words, a part of me actually thought about being his fuck buddy only. I could manage that, right? Instead of hoping and wishing that he would finally be mine.

No, that was no way to live. I knew myself, my feelings would get thrown in the mix someway, somehow if I constantly had sex with Ryan. I sighed and looked at him because another idea came to mind. “Is it because I’m fat?”

“W-What? You’re not fat. You got some extra weight on you and since I’m spilling all of my secrets, I  _ love _ a woman with some extra meat on her bones. If I didn’t like you, you wouldn’t be here. I guess that’s a no to my offer?” there was still a gleam in his eyes as if there was hope in me saying yes.

“R-Ryan, I’m sorry. I’m not looking to play second fiddle. Not right now. I do appreciate you being honest with me, though.” I bit at my lips.

The man just smirked and sat back into his seat. “Hmm. I expected a slap or you splashing the champagne in my face.”

“I think that only happens in the movies.” I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You might be right. Guess I hang around Tom too much,” he chuckled along with me. “ _ So _ , did I ruin our great night out?”

“Not really,” I admitted and finally looked at him. “With me saying no, does that mean you won’t talk to me anymore?”

“Absolutely not. You left it open for change, and I’ll be patiently waiting. But, in the meantime, I have no problem being friends with you.”

“Don’t get your hopes up!” I quirked a brow and Ryan gave me a full laugh.


	8. Enchanted

Maybe Thomas was my good luck charm? Because before he came into my life, no one paid me any mind. I was literally the only single one in my group of girlfriends but no guy ever approached me. The theory was that they were too shy to do so but I never bought that.

Grant it, the only one to make a move was Ryan but it was a damn good step up from zero.

And he kept his word. Ryan continued to text and talk to me, and he didn’t worry me to death about wanting to sleep with each other. Thomas was right about him but not in the way that I would’ve thought of. Ryan just loved women and sex. He used his good looks to his advantage and could basically land any woman he wanted if they were willing to be added to his  _ collection _ . His only flaw was him being unfaithful.

Their first playoff game was on the road so I was unable to go due to work. Because my two new best buds weren’t able to do so, I hung out with two of my other best friends, Cassandra and Erica. Of course, I told them everything and they were just full of advice.

“I don’t get it. You complain all the time about no one liking you, and this  _ god _ falls in your lap and you tell him no?” Erica huffed and started to unshell the peanuts in her metal bucket. She never ate them, she just liked to take the shells off. 

“That’s not what I want,” I sighed out and took the peanuts from her. “I want a meaningful relationship. If all I want is a long hard screw, I’d order it from the bar!”

Cassandra snorted out a laugh at my lame joke. “Maybe that’s what you need. When was the last time you got some?” she asked and put an onion ring on my plate. That was why I was fat, my ungrateful friends always put extra food on my plate. I mean, true– I didn’t  _ have _ to eat it.

Unfortunately, I had to think hard on her question, it had been that long. “It’s been a while, alright?”

“ _ I  _ think you’re holding out for that Brit. You need to be more assertive. Like, sit in his lap or something.” Erica waved a dismissive hand. It was easy for them to do something like that, they were gorgeous and any man would love to have either one in their lap. The moment I try anything like that, I’d be pushed off, asking if I’m drunk.

So, I just scoffed and took a sip of my drink. “I can’t do that. You know that.”

“I know and it’s annoying!” Cassandra laughed. “You know what you need? Some herbal courage!” she waggled her eyebrows at me and I could do nothing but laugh.

It was honestly how we all came to bond with each other: my dad made and sold edibles. I wasn’t a true druggie, meaning I didn’t eat them every day. It was only once a week if that. With the cable company giving me lopsided schedules, I found that I ate them way less than my small group of friends. At first, I thought that they only befriended me because I was the daughter of their plug but none of them ever asked for a freebie once they got to know me.

But, I had to admit that Cassandra was right. Being high didn’t make me all loose and easy but I was more willing to say  _ fuck it _ and go with the natural flow of things. I had to admit that the rare times I had a one night stand, I was blitzed out of my mind… and regretted nothing.

It was just a shame that they were one night stands.

I took Cassandra’s advice and decided to eat a cookie mid-game as the team made their way home for their conference semifinals. I took the time to find some team gear and I felt more at home with the rowdy bunch. The cookie kicked in and I was in La-la land. The rest of the game was a blur and next thing I knew, they had won. I celebrated with the rest of the crowd and once things calmed down, I went to my usual spot to wait for Ryan and Thomas. I had a feeling that this would be an epic night, especially seeing that I was damn near on Mars already.

Ryan came out first and he gave me a wide grin. “My personal cheerleader!”

“Whatever,” I smirked and looked slightly past him at Thomas. It looked like he was about to smile at me but then he looked past  _ me _ and his expression changed immediately. I quirked a brow but then turned around to see what made him look like he had seen a ghost. A woman who was way taller than me stood there with her arms crossed like she wanted to be anywhere else but there. I had seen her before but it was in maybe two or three pictures: this was Thomas’s either soon-to-be or actual ex-wife.

“I’ll catch up with you two later.” Thomas could only glance at us as he passed by.

Well, he never did catch up with us and a part of me felt some sort of way about it. But, I wasn’t going to dwell on it if there was even a hint that it would ruin my high. I did way less drinking than the last time we all celebrated and before we knew it, the bar was closing.

Ryan walked out with me, an arm around my shoulder. “So, don’t slap me but, wanna go to my place to do some more drinking?”

“I wouldn’t slap you for that, even if I wasn’t high.” I giggled.

“I  _ knew  _ it!” Ryan laughed fully. “You’re way looser with me than you’ve ever been. I knew something was up. I was thrown off because I don’t smell it on you.”

“Well, you won’t smell it if it’s an edible.” I grinned and the smirk that Ryan gave me sent shivers throughout my entire body.

“I’ve heard of those. I’ve also heard stories about it. You’re not tripping balls right now, are you?” he asked and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I mean, I feel like I’m floating and moving in slow motion. But I’m not gonna hallucinate on you!” 

“Can’t believe I know someone who eats their weed!”

We made it to his house and I was so glad that Ryan ordered Chinese, my munchies had kicked in with a fierceness. I had no idea what chemical made it to where every, single, thing tasted a hundred times better but I finished everything that I ordered.

“Wow. I thought that was a myth.” Ryan chuckled. I put my chopsticks down and looked at him.

“What?”

“The whole getting high and eating everything in sight thing.”

“You’ve really never been around anyone that was stoned?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“See, that would mean getting a contact high and I’ve never been a fan of doing that. So, no. I’ve never been around anyone who ate or smoked it.”

“I take it your opinion of me has lowered.” I gave him a look but Ryan smiled and shook his head.

“Nothing would make me think bad about you, Tamara. Look: me and Tom might need liver transplants soon so no judgment here about your vices.” he gave me a playful nudge and I laughed.

“I don’t get high all the time. At least, not anymore.”

“Stop explaining things, I get it!” Ryan laughed and I felt his knee bump into my leg. “What else happens when you’re stoned?”

“Well like, right now, I feel like I’m in space, floating around. If I was in pain, I’m not anymore!” I laughed a little and looked at him. I knew that it was the edible but I couldn’t help becoming enchanted with his looks. His eye color popped out a bit more, giving Ryan an irresistible aura. Erica was right, he was a god and I was a fool for not at least thinking about only having sex with him. He was probably what I needed in my life instead of pining for a man who would never pine for me.

My thoughts slightly went to Thomas and wondered what he was doing right then. While his wife or ex-wife or whatever the fuck she was to him at the moment, looked mighty pissed off, she was fucking gorgeous. I was sure that he had a way of charming her out of her pants and was possibly knee-deep inside of her as I sat there explaining to a sexy man about how it feels to be high.

I needed to change that scenario.

“So, you feel nothing?” Ryan interrupted my thoughts.

“Oh, the fucking opposite! It makes me overly sensitive.”

“And horny?” there was a gleam in his eyes. A while ago, I would’ve squashed that gleam but I was in need, as the warmth that traveled down to my nether regions agreed. 

“Yep.” I smiled even more and Ryan chuckled. 

“Maybe… I can help with that? Just this once or, whatever you decide afterwards?”

“What makes you think that I’ve changed my mind about that?” I had no idea why I was playing coy, especially feeling his hand on my knee, moving up towards my thigh.

“Because you haven’t moved my hand,” he smirked and my body shivered as his hand continued its trek up my leg. Before I could say anything else, his lips were on mine and I moaned loudly into his mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned more into this heated kiss as his hand left my leg and went to my waist. 

Usually, when I wasn’t under the influence, I would let the man take full control. But not this time. I was high and my head was buzzing with so much lust, I found myself quite comfortable in his lap, straddling him. Ryan was a great kisser, and the throbbing going on in his pants made me believe that he would be an equally great lover. I grinded against Ryan as he moaned and moved along with me. 

After what seemed like forever, he released the kiss, a bit out of breath. “Fuck,” he breathed out and smiled. “Take your clothes off,” he said and I got out of his lap as best as I could. I stripped out of my clothes and I knew for sure that Ryan would be his charming self, doing something that would send me over the edge in record time.

Imagine my surprise when all he did was pull me back towards the couch. I was laying on my back with him in between my legs in no time. “Shit, wait,” he hissed out and left me on the couch, naked. It dawned on me why he left as soon as he came back: condoms. As Ryan walked back over to me, I had time to take him in fully. He was lean and toned all over but not as muscular as Thomas. His skin looked like it was lightly kissed by the sun all over, which was impressive to me.

My eyes lingered on his erection as he slid the condom over it and, well, being impressed left me all of the sudden. He wasn’t as lengthy as I would’ve liked nor did he have a lot of girth. But, I was high so I was sure that I would feel  _ something _ .

Thank God I was already wet because Ryan did nothing to prep me before he tried to slip right in. I wasn’t wet enough so it was a bit of a struggle but he moaned approvingly when he finally drove into me as deep as he could. I only let out a gasp because he gripped my hips tighter than I was prepared for. I thought he would at least start off slow and then pick up the pace steadily but that would’ve meant my luck had changed. Nope, it was full speed ahead as he wildly thrusted into me. 

I was confused. Sex was always amazing when I was stoned out of my brain. The fact that I rarely had sex while high wasn’t the point. Not that it didn’t feel right, it was just… weird. I could definitely feel Ryan pounding away like a mad man, and he was having the time of his life. But, he wasn’t hitting my spots at all. I wanted to let him know that but something told my high ass to just go with the motions and that I did. I thought I felt a bit of a spark or tingle as I clenched hard against him but if it was the start of anything, it was short-lived as Ryan grunted loudly when he came.

I, wait… that was it…? No way.

Yep, that was it. I felt him grow limp right after and he finally slowed down to a crawl on his thrusts. The whole, three minutes he had his head buried in my neck but he gave me lazy kisses before he pulled out with a groan. “ _ Wow _ , that was well worth the wait! I’ve never came that quick before,” he breathed out with a laugh and I found that very hard to believe. He got off me completely, carefully taking the condom off. “Are you spending the night with me?” 

“You want me to?” I had no idea how I was able to immediately speak, I was still in shock over what just happened.

“Absolutely! Morning sex is the best,” he smirked before leaving to throw the condom away.

Maybe I was too high to realize that the sex was actually good?


	9. Frail

It was the biggest regret of my life, sleeping with Ryan… twice. I thought that maybe I was too high to enjoy it so perhaps it would be best if I was sober or at least coming down from my high. So, in the morning there was indeed sex. The problem was yeah, he was just plain awful. There was no foreplay at all: I woke up to him poking at me, fumbling with a condom and it was over with before my mind was clear enough to realize what was going on.

How was that possible? How was it possible for Ryan to be _ that _ good looking but _ that _ lousy in bed?

It made for a very awkward walk of shame and the only reason I even called it a walk of shame was because it wasn’t worth the wait. The real problem was that I had to still be his friend knowing he was a lousy screw.

I debated on telling Thomas but only if he would tell me what happened between him and the wit– ex-wife. I knew that I would feel some type of way if I found out that they had sex as well that night, even though that would be the pot calling the kettle black. Fortunately, or unfortunately for me, I didn’t have to tell Thomas.

“Please tell me that Ryan is lying,” he surprised the shit out of me when I went to answer my door the next afternoon.

“Hey, that rhymes!” I tried to play off but it only made him sigh. “Oh God, don’t do that! Fine, I’m assuming that he told you about us having sex last night,” I grumbled as I let him in. I wasn’t expecting the light smack across the back of my head from him. “_ Ow _!”

“Oh, that didn’t hurt!”

“You’re fucking heavy-handed!” I whined and narrowed my eyes at him.

“Well, it’s what you get for not listening to me.” 

“What? You didn’t say to not have sex with him! You just told me to be careful.”

“Oh bloody hell, I didn’t think I had to spell it out for you!” Thomas laughed and plopped down on my couch. I went into the kitchen to grab us both water.

“You’re too British for your own good. Would you rather have tea, then?” I tried my best imitation of a British accent which went horribly wrong but I knew it would.

“Fuck off,” he roared with laughter and even I had to laugh as well.

“Sorry, I don’t do sloppy seconds.” I shrugged and handed him his water as I sat beside him.

“Excuse you?”

“Oh, c’mon. Damnit, what do you Brits call it? Oh! I know you did a bit of how’s your father last night…” I purposely waited for him to take a sip of water to say it and he nearly choked.

“Is that what you think happened?” he finally managed and I just smirked.

“Duh.”

“Oh my– she came here to finalize the divorce, Love.”

“Finalize or _ finalize _?” I used air quotes and he just shook his head with a chuckle.

“Dirty bird. She’s made her decision. And I wasn’t going to beg for sex. Not from her, anyway. I would have joined you at the bar but we had a bit of a row about custody of the boys.”

“You had a what…?”

“A disagreement. I won’t call it a fight, you already believe I’m this barbarian who uses sex as a cure-all,” Thomas chuckled and I laughed as well. “Now that we’re back on that subject: I’ve never seen Ryan so, enthusiastic about a romp of his.” he finished and I buried my head in my hands for a moment before looking at him.

“You gotta promise me you won’t tell _ anyone _ about what I’m about to say.”

“Oh. I think I know where this is going but, of course I promise.” he gave me a look and I sighed heavily.

“He was fucking… _ awful _.” it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders as soon as I confessed. Thomas’s eyes widened and then he burst into laughter. “Stop laughing, you’re making me feel worse about it!”

“Why would you feel bad about _ his _ inadequacies?” the bastard continued to laugh and I groaned. ”Oh Love; do you think it was you?”

“You said he had a track record. Which means he sleeps around, he even told me that he did!”

“Again, I don’t know him as personally as you believe I do. I was going by the stories he’s told me and the rest of the guys in the locker room.”

“Oh God; he’s gonna tell everyone?” I widened my eyes at him and Thomas laughed.

“The way he went on and on, I would say it’s a good thing.”

“On and on? Hell, he probably lasted longer telling the story than he did in the bed,” I thought I mumbled it but Thomas went into stitches once more.

“Okay seriously: I am so sorry you had to go through that. But at the same time, I don’t have to say I told you so,” he smirked and I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Get the hell off my couch!”

I hated Thomas with all my being. Actually, no I didn’t because _ I should’ve listened to him instead of my genitals _. If it was any consolation, I knew that it would be hard for him to keep a straight face in front of Ryan.

Of course, Ryan’s calls and texts increased and I had no idea what to do. He really wasn’t a bad guy: he had been truthful to me and it was basically all that I’d wanted from a man. I just didn’t want to have sex with him anymore and didn’t know how to break that down to him without sounding like an asshole.

I mean, I _ could’ve _ just said thanks but no thanks? 

While I was trying to come up with excuses to avoid Ryan, their team won the championship. It was the first time my city had won any type of championship and we had every right to go haywire. Again, I had a hard time following soccer fully but I was definitely there to witness the historic victory. Between Thomas and Ryan, I had enough team gear to start my own store, and I tried to wear every last bit of it for that game.

There was too much chaos for me to even think about going towards the locker room so I made my way towards our bar of choice. By the time the guys got there, I was already tipsy. Everyone crowded Thomas while Ryan managed to squeeze his way through undetected and came over to me. Without a word, I was taken out of my seat and twirled around in a celebratory hug. My heart raced when it looked as though he was gonna kiss me but Ryan just smiled widely. His hands squeezing my hips tightly didn’t go unnoticed, though.

Why the hell was he so bad in bed, damnit?

“It’s time to get absolutely shit-faced!”

I was glad that I got a chance to talk to Ryan before we both got too drunk to care about anything. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he was dreadful in bed, but I found out I didn’t have to mention that at all. He said he had a feeling that I would want to have a monogamous relationship, especially after we had sex. Well, I didn’t outright lie because I really did prefer to have that with him or anyone. But I did mention that it wouldn’t sit right with me if I was faithful, he wasn’t and we still had sex. There were no hard feelings but he did excuse himself to find a potential celebratory fuck buddy for the night.

I wasn’t mad at all. In fact, it took all I had not to laugh as I watched him pull two women who were more than willing to have a threesome. Those poor women…

I was about to leave the table I was sitting at until Thomas suddenly plopped down beside me. I smiled widely at him and gave him a huge hug.

“You were so awesome tonight!” again, I didn’t know much about soccer but I _ did _ get that it was because of his save that sealed the victory. It was no wonder everyone gathered around him and I was shocked he had time to sit down beside me.

“Thank you, Love. It still feels so surreal for me. I wanted to talk to you before you got too pissed.” 

“What? Why would I get mad?” I quirked a brow at him and he laughed heartily.

“Drunk. Before you get too drunk! I’ve been meaning to tell you but I’ve been so busy lately, and distracted.”

“What is it?” I saw that he had a somewhat serious face. I tried to go through the numerous scenarios that would make him get all serious on me and before he could open his mouth once more, it hit me. 

Thomas’s loan was up. He’d be going back to London.

“As you know, I’ve been on loan for the team and now that our season is officially over, so is that loan,” he started and I suddenly wanted to cry. My frail heart couldn’t take whatever else he had to say and a part of me wanted to just get up and leave. Unfortunately, my feet had a different idea and I stayed put. “I’ll give you a choice. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

“Oh God Thomas, just give me the bad news; stop beating around the bush.” I blurted out and took a deep breath to stop from crying. 

He sighed and leaned back into his seat as he threw his arm around my shoulder. “Well, I’m officially divorced. I won’t see my sons as much as I would like now. She wouldn’t even let them come see me play tonight.” he sighed out and those things made me feel bad for him. It also made me hate her for being so petty. 

But, that news wasn’t what I expected to hear. I looked up at him, waiting for the next wave of bad news but he just sat in silence, biting at his lip a bit. “Is, is that all of the bad news?”

“Oh! Yes, that’s all of it. The good news is that I was offered a multiyear contract before the playoffs started… and I took it.”

“Wait. You’re, staying?” I widened my eyes at him and Thomas laughed a little, squeezing my shoulder.

“Getting the house made it feel official, although I haven’t had time to move things in. And no one’s seen it yet. As my best mate, it felt only right you’d be the first.” he smiled at me and I blushed so hard, I knew for sure that he could feel me warming up.

“What about your acting career?”

“For now, I’m not on any contract to appear in anything but those options are very open. Soccer is my passion, and people here like the fact that my age isn’t stopping me from doing what I love,” he explained. I couldn’t help warming up to the bigger picture of everything.

Regardless of the fact that we would never be an item, I was overly thrilled that Thomas was staying. He wasn’t leaving me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Thomas says "a bit of a row", row is pronounced like wow, not how we Americans say as in "row your boat".


	10. Swing

It didn’t take long for Thomas to settle into his new house, which was one of the best-looking houses I had seen in the city. I loved that he was very modest so the house wasn’t as huge as I expected it to be: a four-bedroom, three-bath two-story home with a lot of backyard. Still, it was way above my pay grade no matter how homey. 

It hadn’t dawned on me how much soccer influenced our lives until the season was over with. While Thomas was a local hero, he had missed the cut for the U.S. men’s soccer team but Ryan was selected so he wasn’t around as much. Since Thomas had nothing else to do, he traveled everywhere doing mostly humanitarian things. He got a small role in some drama series as well so I didn’t have as much hanging out time with him.

Which meant I had more time with my other friends and even my family. I had no idea why Thomas never met my friends or my family but after a while, I knew that I had to change that. Then again, I didn’t want either group to get the wrong idea about who Thomas was to me.

Would’ve been nice if I had to be honest with myself, my family thinking that Thomas was my secret boyfriend.

The girls and I decided to have a night on the town for Erica’s birthday. I was glad that the next day was Saturday because there was no way I would’ve been sober enough for work in the morning. The night started off simple enough, with the women trying to figure out babysitting duties for their children. Two husbands bitched a fit about the whole girls night out thing, one finally agreed to watch all the children. Then said husband was running late so we had to feed the kids before leaving altogether. That made us late to dinner but then things started to look up and were smooth sailing after we stuffed our faces. By the time we got to the club, I was tipsy and my edible had kicked in so I was feeling too nice to let anything else try to ruin my night. 

We did something that we had never done before: stayed until the club closed. Nothing out of the ordinary happened: my friends were getting hit on as usual and I was the odd man out. It just gave me time to take a selfie to send to both Thomas and Ryan before sending Thomas a drunken paragraph belittling myself. The only thing I got was two texts from Ryan: the first was just the heart eyes emoji followed by:

_ I miss you _

Because we couldn’t drive too far, we ended up crashing at my parents’ house. Melody and Cassandra smoked with my dad while the rest of us went to bed. I plopped down in my old bed and dozed off while waiting for Thomas to text me back.

I groaned as I woke up, the sun burning into my eyelids. My high was minimizing which meant all that I drank the night before was playing catchup to me. I opened one eye and was looking at the nightstand, the glass of water and a bottle of pills visible even if they both were blurry. I waited for my eyes to adjust before I took two Ibuprofens and downed half the glass of water, mentally thanking my dad.

My phone buzzed as I laid back down and I looked to see if the world had collapsed in the few hours I was passed out. The message was from Erica but it reminded me that I was dumb enough to drunk text the two men in my life.

I actually felt some type of way that I didn’t have any more messages from them.

I read Erica’s message about they were all leaving and thanking me for a great night out– like it was all my doing– and then decided to not raise my anxiety and responded back to Ryan. 

The conversation turned out, a bit weirder than I wanted it to be. Because it was Ryan, I fully expected the lewdness even if it was subtle. What I didn’t expect was the hint of jealousy in his texts. Or at least it was what it sounded like: Ryan was so into the subject on whether I had slept alone or if anyone hit on me or even if I danced with anyone.

For someone who had made it clear that he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, it came off as overly weird and I lied, saying that I was going back to sleep.

With my headache gone, I took a shower thankful that I always had some clothes still in my parents’ house. They only had us two, my older brother and I, and we both left the house right at the age of eighteen with me going to college and Charlie going into the Marine Corps. But, they kept our rooms as is with the house being large enough to where they didn’t need to use them for anything extra. 

The sunroom was off to the other side of the house and not by the kitchen so I was able to sneak past whoever was cooking breakfast. I called it a sunroom but it was more of a four-season room because it could be heated or cooled depending on the weather. Nevertheless, it gave a great view of the backyard and it was always my favorite place in the house. 

The two-seated swing had basically been my seat for as long as I could remember and that’s where I sat, scrolling through my usual social media timelines. I was in the middle of replying to a heated debate when my phone buzzed and I saw that Thomas finally responded back. 

_ This feels like a drunken rant _

I cringed at what he said; what convinced me to do something stupid like that? 

Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, Paul Masson, and Mary Jane, that’s what.

_ Let’s forget you read that? _

_ Can’t love; it’s right there _

I grumbled and wanted to throw my phone because I could _feel _the smug grin Thomas was sporting at that moment. I was about to reply until I saw that he was typing. It felt like a day passed as I waited, what was he doing, writing a book?

_ I won’t lie, that was very unsettling to see when I’m nowhere near to comfort. You shouldn’t feel like that. I don’t know about the guys in that town but guess what, it’s their loss for looking past you. You’re a gem Tamara, and I have no idea why no one else sees that. They’re the idiots missing out on all the things that make you beautiful, inside and out. I don’t think you should worry yourself over the blokes in a club, you won’t find the one you’re looking for in there! And you always say that no one pays you any mind but i don’t think you’re paying attention _

I read the text with widened eyes as it made me feel warm all over. That was the type of man I was looking for but he only saw me as a friend. It was enough to make me bite at my lips.

“He’s right, you know…” 

“_ Jesus Christ _ !” I almost fell out of the swing at the sound of my brother’s voice. My phone _did _go flying out of my hands and the room filled with Charlie’s laugh. “The fuck, Charles?”

“It’s not my fault that you were in space!” when he came into view, I saw that he was holding two plates full of food. He set them down on the coffee table as I got up to see the damage on my phone. There was no damage luckily but I saw that Thomas was typing again. He stopped as soon as I sat down beside Charlie. “Do you have to call me Charles whenever you get pissed off at me?”

“It’s your name,” I shrugged and grabbed the plate in front of me. Eggs, bacon, grits and a waffle, which looked like a fraction compared to what was piled up on his plate. Even before the Marine Corps, Charlie could eat someone out of house and home. A lot of times, I was jealous because he always kept his trim physique. Then I remembered that he also got plenty of exercise whereas I got winded just looking at a treadmill. “How long you’re in town?”

“A month.” he nodded as he began to shovel food down his throat.

“That’s a pretty long vacation.” I looked at the phone and Thomas did it again: it showed that he was typing but then he suddenly stopped. I quirked a brow and instead of making myself worried about what he was typing out and then erasing, I put my phone to the side to eat

“I’m getting out of the Corps. Decided that I wasn’t re-enlisting so, I get a month vacation as you call it and then I’m officially out.” Charlie announced and I didn’t know how I felt about it. He had already dedicated twenty years to service and it made me wonder what happened to make him change his mind about staying in longer.

Since he didn’t say anything else about it, I wasn’t going to pry and just nodded. “What’s your plans?”

“Help mom and dad out until I find something? Since I’m technically retiring, I don’t _have _to get some full-time job or nothing like that. So, enough about my life: who was that hitting on you? Sounds like you friend-zoned the shit out of him… and he’s British.” he said and I nearly choked on my piece of bacon.

“How did you translate that to flirting?” I glared at Charlie and he smirked.

“I’m a man and that’s what I would say if I was trying to throw out a hint that I liked someone: you’re beautiful, you’re a star, the one who will love you the way you deserve to be loved is right under your nose…” he looked dead at me and all I could do was gawk.

“He’s… not,” I looked at my phone one more time, even if it was just to reread his words of encouragement to me. Again, there was the message of him typing and then he stopped. I was about to tell him to say what he really wanted to say but then his message popped up.

_ I feel like I made it awkward for you _

There. He wasn’t throwing out any hints: Thomas Lamb was just a gentleman.

“Okay wow. You had no clue that he likes you.” Charlie laughed a little and I shook my head.

“He doesn’t. We’re just friends.”

“You sure about that?”

“Since you’re being nosy and all, _ I _ wanted to be more but, he made it clear that I’m just that: a friend.” I sighed out. For once in his life, Charlie was silent. I took that opportunity to text Thomas back, that it wasn’t awkward but I needed to talk to my brother. When I looked back up at him, he gave me a soft look.

“You’re in love, sis.”

“Ha, nope!”

“You can deny it all you want but I see it all over your face. _ You’re _the one being friend-zoned and it’s eating at you.” Charlie picked up on. I opened my mouth to recant but nothing came out. I simply turned away from him and concentrated on my food. “Where’d you meet him?” he chuckled and I was forced to tell him how I met Thomas. Of course, his chuckle exploded into a hearty laugh but he tried to settle down, especially when I mentioned Thomas’s name. “Wait. Not the guy who plays for our soccer team, right?”

“Of course, you _ would _ know him.”

“Just barely, though. He _did _give us our first championship in the history of ever! So… what do you want to do about your situation?”

“I, there’s nothing I can do. I’m not gonna force someone to like me.”

“Does he even know?”

“No, and I’m not gonna embarrass myself by telling him.”

“God, Tamara! It’s obvious that he likes you,” Charlie grumbled loudly and actually set his plate down. “I’m positive if he knows how you feel about him, he would take you out of the friend zone. He likes you too, dodo. Honestly, I think he’s going off of your signs and you’re probably giving off ‘friend’.” he went back to eating his food with another shrug. I sighed and joined him, knowing that he was probably right.


	11. Pattern

I was too chicken shit to go through with the plans me and Charlie talked about. I was awkward when it came to that; how was I supposed to let Thomas know that I may or may not be falling for him, and do this without breaking out into an uncontrollable sweat? And forget giving out subtle hints: I had no idea how to flirt and it be, not weird.

So I let myself suffer whenever the two of us hung out and I think he felt that something was wrong because he always asked was I okay. No, I wasn’t okay: I want to tell you that at the very least I like you _a lot_. But I was extremely shy and nervous and afraid of rejection. Well, not so much afraid of it: I avoided situations that could _lead _to rejection. 

I just told him that I was fine and there was nothing to worry about. 

Thomas had a small break from filming and traveling so he was finally home for about a week and a half. Christmas was quickly approaching and a part of me warmed up at the fact that we would somewhat spend it together. Of course, I would spend time with my parents and Charlie but perhaps this would be the perfect time to tell Thomas that I wanted out of that friend zone.

I had a change of mind when he asked me to come over to the house and I was greeted by two boys sitting in the living room. They looked like teens and were carbon copies of Thomas sans the dark skin: these two were his sons he talked so much about.

I didn’t know what to say as they stared at me. Eventually, I smiled and went further into the living room. “He didn’t tell me you two would be here; hi.” 

“You’re Tamara, right?” the one that was lounging across the couch looked at me. It made me feel a certain type of way because while I knew that he had sons, I didn’t know their names. They knew who the hell I was. 

“Y-Yeah…”

“Oh, she’s the one who broke up mum and dad?” the other one continued to eye me and I could feel my blood draining from my body.

“W-Wait, _ what _?” I couldn’t help myself. “M-Me and your dad are just friends, that’s it.” I stopped myself from telling them that it was their mother who cheated on Thomas and left him but then I realized that they didn’t need to hear the truth. It started to piss me off that she would put it all on Thomas. As much as I wanted to tell them that their mother was a piece of shit who left their dad, I kept my mouth shut.

They looked like they didn’t believe me and I was a second away from just leaving because I wasn’t in the mood to be judged by teenagers. Thankfully Thomas walked in just in time and saw the distressed look on my face. He gave the two a warning look. “What’s going on here?”

“_She _walked in as if she lives here,” the boy on the couch shrugged. I didn’t expect Thomas to approach the boy and give him a smack across the head but a part of me tried to keep the laughter in. His brother’s expression changed quickly as Thomas glared at the two. “Ow!”

“I raised you two bloody better than that! Not that it’s your business but I invited her over to meet you two. I’m sorry, Tamara.” his face softened as he looked at me and it made me feel worlds better.

“It’s, it’s okay. I would’ve accused as well.”

“Accused of what?” it definitely wasn’t my intention to get the boys back in trouble. But, Thomas had the dad look once more and the boys wanted to run away, I could tell.

“They think I broke up you and your wife.” I sighed out. Thomas’s jaw dropped for a second before that look came back as he switched glances between the two boys.

“Is that what you two think? Tamara is my best mate, nothing more. Even if she was, that’s between me and her.” another painful confirmation of our relationship. I should’ve swallowed my pride right then and there, blabbing out my confession. Kids, I really like your father and I want to be your stepmom.

… Wait… _ was that what I wanted _…?

“–Thomas, Jr. and Noah.” I barely heard the formal introductions and I shook the crazy thoughts out of my head. The two gave me a muted nod. They still looked like they wanted to tie me to a stake and burn me alive but with their father looming very close, the looks disappeared.

“Nice to finally meet you two. Your dad talks a lot about you.” was it a lie? No, Thomas _did _talk about his sons but it was more on the lines of complaining because their mother kept them on a tight leash away from him. 

I wasn’t expecting dinner but there we were, having dinner, a very awkward one. I had a feeling that TJ and Noah were judging even the way I ate so I just kept my head down and ate. I hated it because Thomas was so enthused about what he’d been doing and if I showed my true feelings of actual interest, I would be met with a slight eye roll.

“So, are we still on for that vacation or have my boys scared you completely away from me?” Thomas asked after an uneasy silence. I couldn’t help but look at him.

“O-Oh. Yeah, sure. I already put my time in for it.”

“What vacation?” Noah eyed Thomas.

“Well, seeing that you asked that means your mother didn’t tell you about it. It was supposed to be for the four of us, a winter vacation. But your mother put her foot down about it, which is probably how the bloody idea of me and Tamara together came about.”

“So, you two will be alone on this vacation?” TJ huffed, playing with his food.

“If the other two don’t bail on me then yes. Two adults alone in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. No electricity, no phones. Just us and nature.”

“Okay, now you sound like a serial killer and I think I changed my mind!” I joked and was shocked that the boys laughed. Thomas gave me a particular look and I eventually laughed along with them. 

The boys had gone to bed, or at least gone to their rooms, leaving me and Thomas alone in the living room. There was nothing romantic about it, no matter how much I tried to make even the littlest gesture semi-romantic. But we sat there with our wine glasses, with me listening to him talk more about the things that he’s been doing. When he got up to refill our glasses, my concentration went to the Christmas tree in the corner. 

You could tell who had kids by the way their tree was decorated. The lights and ornaments were loud and bright, almost cartoony, and more often than not, the decorations were hung close together because, for some reason, that’s what children do. 

Thomas’s tree showed that it was just him living in the house. I saw a few ornaments that I knew were meant for his boys, something that was possibly a tradition like many others: my parents let us pick out one special ornament every year until we basically moved out. Their tree still bore those ornaments.

But aside from those ornaments, the tree was modernly decorated with soft, blinking lights. I caught on to the pattern and just enjoyed the view, thinking how nice it would be to be there on Christmas, spending time with each other, drinking possibly spiked hot chocolate while listening to Christmas music.

Ugh, why couldn’t I just tell him?

I was too much into beating myself for being so passive and shy, that I realized almost too late that a gift was being shoved into my face. “... what?” I blinked and looked into Thomas’s smiling face. 

“I’m not going to be here for Christmas, love. I wanted to give you your gift now.”

“Oh! Oh, God: I don’t have your gift yet.” it really bothered me that the man went out of his way to get me a gift and I had no idea what to give him.

Thomas chuckled as I took the small box. “It’s fine. I’m not that hard-pressed with people giving me gifts. I’d rather give them myself. I like the feeling I get when I see the expressions.” he shrugged and sat down beside me. 

I nodded. “Thank you, Thomas.”

“You’re not going to open it?” he quirked a brow.

“It’s, it’s not Christmas yet.”

“Oh bloody hell; open it now!” he laughed and I blushed because I really was going to wait until Christmas day to open the gift.

Unwrapping the box revealed that this was possibly jewelry and my heart thumped a little harder at the idea of it. I glanced up at him and he still had that beautiful smile planted on his face. I opened the box and gasped at the bracelet inside. The beads were of different shapes and colors, the largest one was of a yellow-orange color. After studying it, I realized why that was: the beads represented our solar system. 

This wasn’t one of those cheap bracelets found through one of those social media ads. The beads looked delicately painted and were heavy. Even the twine was thick and durable, probably made from the best material known to man. I just looked at Thomas because it wasn’t the fact that this wasn’t a cheap bracelet: he showed that he knew me. I was a _ huge _ astronomy person: I just wasn’t smart enough to get into the field.

“That’s the reaction I like seeing,” he chuckled and I blushed. 

“It’s beautiful.” I finally found my words and that made him smile wider. Thomas put the bracelet on my wrist and it looked as though he was admiring it himself.

“You deserve the universe, and this is as close as anyone can get to giving it to you…” he surprised me even more when I felt his lips lightly on my hand.

I blushed so hard, I knew for sure that he could physically see it, and that was saying a lot given my skin tone. He really knew how to make a girl feel special.


	12. Snow

Although I had no clue what to give a man who seemed to have everything, I got Thomas a gift anyway. He had a penchant for Hennessy so I found the most expensive bottle I could, which was called XO… and cost me half of one of my paychecks. A good thing I had gotten everyone else Christmas presents, otherwise they would’ve been shit out of luck after Thomas!

I didn’t think that he would be surprised because he could easily afford a few of those bottles on his own. But, he was absolutely floored and I think I put myself even more in the friend-zone for it.

It was enough to make me want to bang my head against a brick wall but the look on his face was probably worth it.

Christmas came and went and I had no idea that the trip Thomas planned for us was for New Year’s Eve until he told me to pack. The idea of it made me nervous because I had no idea if he was going to force me to ski or do any of those crazy things where most folks ended up with a broken leg. It was already going to be my first time on an airplane so I planned on being too high to even notice if we crashed.

Thomas greeted me at the airport after I landed and I fully expected to walk to his cabin.  _ So _ glad that it was just a twenty-minute drive because everywhere I looked was snow. It was beautiful but I definitely didn’t want to  _ walk _ in it! Thomas and I talked about random things on the trip there and that was when he made a startling discovery.

“You’re not all the way here, are you?” he glanced at me and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I needed something to take the edge off of me flying for the first time.”

“What…? Are you a pill popper?”

“What? Hell no. Wow, you didn’t know that I get high?” I looked at him and he gave a slight smirk.

“I had no idea that you burned, Love.”

“I don’t. Well, not anymore after my dad introduced me to edibles. Are you judging me?”

“Of course,” he shrugged and it was silent for a while because I thought he was serious. Then, Thomas laughed. “Of course not! I’ll be honest: I’ve never heard of anyone overdosing on weed so I’m assuming that you’re fine.”

“Honestly, I just ate enough to make me go to sleep but waking up high is a trip.” I shook my head and giggled. “It’ll wear off soon.. ish.”

“I’ll take your word for it. Did you bring any more?”

“Why, you wanna partake?” I smirked and he laughed once more. 

“I’ll pass for now. I’m a high functioning drunk, not a pothead.”

“ _ Excuse you! _ ”

The trip wasn’t bad at all, despite the fact that whoever the “other two” were had indeed bailed out of the trip. Thomas understood that I wasn’t used to doing snow things so he was very patient with me. To be honest, snowboarding was actually pretty fun if not tiresome, especially since I was using muscles I had no idea I had! The best part of it though was him being close to me to teach me how to balance. I shouldn’t have made it into something sensual but I couldn’t help but warm up at his touch.

Why did he have to smell so damn good as well…?

My muscles were sore and so the remedy to that was, of course, an edible. It thrilled me that Thomas had other plans, meaning I was the recipient of a light rubdown of my calves. The two of us were in his warm cabin on the couch as my legs were in his lap and he was idly massaging them. Side note: I also found out that Thomas lied about the whole no electricity thing, but the signal was extremely weak out there so he technically didn’t lie about the no cellphone thing.

“And to think, Ryan said that you were all thumbs!” I giggled and moaned all the same.

“You should know better than to believe anything that bloke says about me,” he chuckled as his hands continued to work their magic. “There’s a misconception about men with large hands, that we’re bumbling idiots with them. But as you can feel, definitely not the case.” I watched as Thomas concentrated on his job. High me knew for sure that he was admiring my legs but at the same time, high me was a bit illogical.

“Why is this the first time you’ve given me a massage?”

“One, I didn’t feel like being taken advantage of and two, I’ve never forced you to do any strenuous activity,” he said and I stopped myself from squirming because yes, my mind went there.

I could  _ definitely _ tell him what type of strenuous activity was going through my mind.

Instead, I shook my head and took a long gulp of my hot chocolate: the THC of the cookie made it to where the drink was the best thing since sliced bread, especially with the way it warmed my throat. Before I knew it, the massage was over and Thomas got up from his seat. “You know what will go great with hot chocolate? Molten cake.” His smile reminded me of a child’s expression who found a sweet stash and I laughed. 

“What is with folks wanting to fatten me up?”

“Maybe we just like to see people live life. Besides, you’re on the moon and I  _ know  _ you have the munchies.” was the last I heard before he made his way into the kitchen.

I scoffed. “You think you know me but you don’t!”

Thomas came back with only one plate but it had to be the biggest slice of cake I had ever seen! Would it be considered a slice? It was like a mini bundt cake, enough to feed four people easily. What was so funny was that I had  _ heard _ of molten lava cake but never had it before: I wasn’t a huge chocolate eater.

I didn’t eat cake like that period if I was being honest with myself. But, seeing that we were gonna share this thing, who was I to turn this opportunity down?

“That looks delicious. Did you make that?”

“Guilty as charged.” he smiled and sat down beside me.

“I don’t believe you. You’re gonna sit here and tell me that you’re an actor, an athlete, and a chef?”

“I wouldn’t go as far as to call myself a chef,” he chuckled and set the plate down. Thomas surprised me as he put my legs back in his lap. He took a heaping forkful of the cake and then I saw why it was called molten lava cake: chocolate syrup oozed out the moment he cut into the damn thing. “Anyone can whip up things if they know how to follow directions. Although, I will admit that I know this recipe by heart now, so who’s the lard ass?” he asked and it put me into stitches.

“I love that we have two different sayings for the same meaning! You’re not a fat ass. You could burn this off by running up and down the field.”

“Perhaps.” there was this look that he gave me. I didn’t know how to interpret it but it sent chills up and down my spine nonetheless. Before I could do anything, a forkful of cake was at my mouth.

It took me too long to recognize what was happening. Thomas Lamb had my legs in his lap, and I was being fed cake. Let’s not forget the look. Oh God: please don’t let this be a weed-induced hallucination.

No, it wasn’t because I was definitely being fed chocolate cake that seemed to be drowning in syrup. I wasn’t expecting it to be as warm as it was and I felt a few dollops of syrup escape from my mouth and plop on my neck. Well, at least it hit skin and not clothes: that was easier to clean.

“Shit…” I laughed and was about to wipe up my mess.

“That was my fault. I got it.” it sounded like he rushed his sentence and a second later, I knew why he did it. I wasn’t imagining things, my confirmation when I suddenly felt his tongue on my neck. He slowly lapped at the chocolate and I accidentally moaned out at the feel of it. Instincts made me wrap my arms around his neck and arched towards his lips with a gasp, especially when I felt his teeth graze against my skin.

This was happening. No, it wasn’t. Yes. No? Was, was I  _ that  _ high…? Was Thomas actually pulling me fully into his lap, making me straddle him as he continued his assault on my neck? Yes. This was fucking happening.

His hands wrapped around my waist, making us flush against each other and I definitely felt the throbbing in his pants. But, I was too thrilled and turned on that Thomas’s lips were on my neck, my squirming at the feel of it made him moan and squeeze tighter at my hips. By the time he reached my jaw, I was panting and possibly wetter than I’d ever been in my life, seeing that he made me slowly grind against his growing bulge. Me squeaking out his name made him stop and look at me, he was as out of breath as I was.

“Too fast?” he asked and I could see that the look in his eyes was begging me not to make him stop. I didn’t want him to, no matter how fast this was really going. I mean, it came out of left field.

_ But _ … I’d been wanting this since the first time we laid eyes on each other, no lie.

I needed him in my personal space like this, I needed his lips all over me. And, I definitely needed to feel Thomas inside of me since he made it to where I  _ had _ to feel how excited he was. I took that opportunity to look at him and take him in fully. He was absolutely gorgeous and I wasn’t gonna pass the opportunity up.

Although I nodded to answer his question, my focus was on those lips and his eyes. He looked a bit disappointed but then I saw a quick gleam as I leaned in for a kiss. I had wanted this kiss since that night at the bar and it was well worth the wait. Thomas moaned but quickly took command of the kiss, making it deeper and hotter. I shivered as his hands roamed all over my body, eventually making their way underneath my shirt. I felt him smile as his thumbs went over my nipples.

“I  _ knew _ it…” he stopped the kiss long enough to help me out of my shirt. I took in a breath trying to contain my gratefulness: he noticed. Thomas ran his thumbs with more purpose over my nipples, well nipple piercings. I had been fully naked in front of Ryan and no mention of the bars; he didn’t even bother to touch them. The movement between my legs was definite proof that Thomas enjoyed the feel of them at least.

My breath stuttered as he continued to lightly squeeze my nipples. “K-Knew what?”

“Your piercings,” he was done teasing them through the bra and Thomas pulled a breast out. He watched as I started to come undone when he lightly ran a finger across the bar. “In the store, I saw you weren’t wearing a bra. Saw a glimpse of the piercings but didn't want to make it known I was staring at your breasts. Do you know how long I’ve waited for this?” he removed my bra altogether and I just felt like melting.

“A-As long as me…” it wasn’t a full confession but it was a start as the weight lifted off my shoulders a bit. 

“ _ So  _ glad you felt the same way; I was worried over nothing.” he smiled before his mouth clamped down over a nipple. My world started spinning as his tongue swirled around the bar and, at that moment, I had zero regrets of getting my nipples pierced: it was well worth it.

I knew that we needed to talk about this, that I needed to stop him while he was ahead but he was making me feel too damn good. One hand fondled the other breast, pinching and rubbing at the piercing while the other slipped through the leg of my shorts. I lifted slightly to make sure he had easier access to wherever he wanted to grab and my body stuttered when his fingers grazed over my entrance through the panties. Thomas switched breasts and I finally let out an embarrassing moan as I tried to move against those teasing fingers.

But, he quickly removed them as well as his mouth from my breast. I was left breathless as he looked at me. “Tell me to stop.” he breathed out.

I didn’t know if I heard him right so it took me a while to answer. “What? Why would I do that?” I smirked because high me thought he was joking around. 

“Because we’re moving a bit too fast. I don’t want you to think that I took advantage of you all because you’re stoned. And I don’t want you to have any regrets about this.” Oh, he was serious. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked at him.

“Are  _ you _ going to regret this?” As I got comfortable in his lap, Thomas grabbed a hold of my hips.

“What? Absolutely not. I’ve wanted you for quite some time now.”

“Then we should continue,” I said and kissed him before anything else could come out of his mouth. Thomas gave out a surprised moan, especially as I lifted up and let my fingers run over the bulge I felt. When I lightly squeezed, he immediately took over the kiss and I was on my back before I knew it. I smiled through the kiss as he made himself busy pulling my shorts and underwear off: I was completely naked underneath him.

Thomas broke the kiss, lifting off of me so that he could undress. I could only watch with a stupid grin on my face: he didn’t have any outrageous muscles everywhere– a good thing because that was a turn off for me– but he was nicely toned for his age. Something I never expected to see was a tattoo of a dragon that spanned from the top of his chest to his shoulder. I lifted to only run my fingers over that tattoo but was greeted with another hot kiss. 

Thomas laid me back down and I squirmed as I felt a finger press against my entrance. I immediately moved and clenched at it as he slowly slipped it inside of me, moaning into his mouth. Thomas worked me just as slow when he broke the kiss once more. “Can I have you?” it would’ve been a dumb question but Thomas made  _ anything  _ sound sexy. I arched towards that finger and nodded as I bit at my lip and was rewarded with that smile of his.

I pouted when he removed his finger but then I felt his tip against my entrance. “Thom–” I wanted to bring up the subject of a condom but it was too late as he pushed inside with a satisfied moan. I gasped and trembled, I loved how sensitive I was because my climax was already  _ right there. _ Unlike with Ryan, I felt every little thing with Thomas and it was almost enough for my climax to hurdle over the edge.

But no, it decided to stay where it was and make me moan, whimper and eventually howl like a crazy woman with every thrust he gave me. I thought he was saying something to me but I was distracted by the way he felt: fuck, he was thick. Thomas steadily thrusted, there was no rushing until I finally got  _ tired _ of him hitting my spots repeatedly and moaned out about my orgasm. Just as I started to arch and buck, he put my legs on his shoulders and I just, became an absolute mess. 

I had the sense enough to not confess my love to him at least but what came out of my mouth was complete nonsense. I could definitely feel him, feel  _ all _ of him as he throbbed against my walls. My toes curled hard as it felt like another orgasm collided with the first one and I almost didn’t hear his grunts as Thomas emptied into me. It felt like an eternity before he slowed down to a halt and I was still shaking. 

“Bloody hell,” he breathed out with a smile as he took my legs off of his shoulders. He collapsed on me and I wasted no time wrapping my arms around him as I started the passionate kiss. 

God, don’t let this be some edible-induced hallucination...


	13. Dragon

I usually grumbled and tried to hide from whatever sunlight that attempted to hit my eyelids but that morning I simply, woke up. My heart stopped when I saw that I was looking at Thomas’s sleeping face. His arm was wrapped around my waist while mine draped over his chest, his naked chest.

Oh God… last night wasn’t a hallucination.

I looked down and yep, I was naked. And sore, delightfully sore. Usually, I would be ecstatic about being sore from sex but something in the back of my mind made me feel embarrassed. I couldn’t figure out why but I blushed as I watched Thomas snore lightly.

I got my wish, or did I? Last night was a whirlwind and to be honest, I would’ve rather taken my time and been completely sober for our first time. Was that my only regret? No, because I started to feel like a fool at how easy it was for him to get sex out of me.

I didn’t even put up a fight about him not pulling out.

I wanted to get up but that tattoo of his stuck out and I studied it. It was actually a very large dragon tattoo, the head rested right above his right nipple while a claw dipped towards his rib cage. On his shoulder was a portion of the body and the other claw: I was sure that the rest of the dragon was on his back. Part of me wanted to trace the lines gently but the other part had a thought of me getting a matching tattoo.

… where did  _ that _ idea come from?

With that, I made the decision to get up. Maybe if I wasn’t there when he woke up, we could avoid the conversation. How much did Thomas have to drink last night? I couldn’t remember, I was in orbit! Maybe he was drunk, maybe if I was lucky, he would think that he only dreamt about having sex with me.

I thought I was home free when I rolled away from his grasp and managed to sit up on the side of the bed. I gasped and shivered when I felt a finger trail down my back. “Where are you going?” Thomas asked sleepily.

It took me a while debating whether I would tell him the truth or not. “... back to my room.”

“Hmm?” he grumbled and I was pulled back into the bed. I found myself flushed against him. “Why would you do that?” he nuzzled my neck. I warmed at the fact that his morning wood was very noticeable, especially when he placed my leg on his waist.

I moaned a little as he nibbled on my neck. Did I want to tell him the truth and ruin the moment? Yes, because it was what I did best.

“Mmm, wait wait wait…” I gasped as his lips moved from my neck to my breasts. 

Thomas actually did stop and gave me a look, sleep still in his eyes. Fuck, he looked great, even sleep laden. “What’s wrong, pet? It wasn’t good last night… was it?” he asked and there was concern all over his face. 

I opened my mouth to answer but then realized what he said. He, he called me pet. I remembered the first time I met Ryan, and Thomas said that if he called me  _ pet _ then it was meaningful. No, he said that it meant  _ I was his girlfriend _ . “What? Oh, you were amazing last night,” I stuttered because it tried to set in: I was Thomas’s girlfriend.

The concern deepened and he simply looked at me. “Tamara, what’s wrong? You’re nervous. You,” his brow furrowed. “Are you still seeing Ryan?” he asked carefully. My eyes widened at the whole thought of it and I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. 

“How? He’s not here, and I told you that was a mistake. I wasn’t gonna do  _ that _ again.” when I shook my head, his body relaxed. “If I was still involved with him, high or not, last night wouldn’t have happened. Just, we jumped in the bed pretty quickly. Well, the couch…” I smirked and Thomas chuckled, finally becoming eye-to-eye with me.

“To be fair, I told you to stop me. Not going to complain about the outcome, but the warning was there!” he smiled. “I don’t think lowly of you,” he gently moved strands of dreads away from my face and I absolutely melted. “Since we’re being honest with each other, I’ve wanted this for quite a while, all of it.”

“All of it?” 

“Yes. The relationship, and the sex. The waking up next to you parts, and the me buying you silly gifts parts.  _ All _ of it.” his smile widened before I found his lips on mine. I sighed happily and returned the kiss as I wrapped my arms around his neck. That little move made his body relax altogether and Thomas deepened the kiss. Everything that I wanted to talk about left out of the window, especially when I felt myself flipped and I was on top of him. I didn’t break the kiss, I didn’t want to, but I gasped in his mouth when he slid me down on his morning wood. His thickness wasn’t a figment of my stoned imagination, I clenched hard against his girth with a moan. 

Thomas let go of the kiss and grabbed my hips. “Fuck…” he breathed out and pushed his hips up with such sharpness, I moaned loudly as my body shuddered. Embarrassed, I bit my lips but Thomas just chuckled. “Don’t hold back. Never hold back from me.”

And I didn’t. Neither one of us lasted long but with me being on top, it was a different experience from last night. He watched as I quickly came undone, with him following very close behind. Again, he didn’t bother to pull out but I didn’t think I would’ve let him. Thomas released his death grip on my hips as I collapsed on him, trying to get my breathing back to normal. He gathered me in his arms with a happy sigh, followed by a kiss on my forehead. “Good morning.”

I knew that we really needed to talk but how could I when all the man wanted to do was hold and pamper me? We showered together and Thomas actually washed me. I joked that it was just an excuse for him to touch me but he assured me he needed no excuse now.

While he went into the kitchen to cook breakfast, I took my time to get dressed. It gave me a lot of time to work up the courage to talk about what happened between us and where we were going from there. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that… this wasn’t fast-paced.  _ Thomas had given out hints earlier. _ I reached for my phone and even though service was shit, I was still able to read my messages. I found it and just stared at it, the one from the night of Erica’s birthday: well, the next day. 

_ And you always say that no one pays you any mind but i don’t think you’re paying attention _

Fuck. I was an idiot. And Charlie was right. More importantly, I was an idiot! I really did give off the just friends vibe, and Thomas had given hints that he wanted to be more. I was the first person he showed off his new house to. The bracelet he gave me for Christmas: it might as well have been diamonds! I smacked my head and bit at my lips: when I told him about my dinner invite from Ryan. The pauses. Thomas was jealous and was biting his tongue about the entire thing.

I was a fucking idiot.

I sighed and got dressed finally, going into the kitchen where I was greeted with the basic breakfast of eggs, toast, and sausage. Oh, and of course, a wonderful smile from the cook. “I was wondering what took you so long,” he set our plates on the table. He quickly approached me, wrapped his arms around me, and gave me a smoldering kiss. And just like that, I forgot all about breakfast. “Sorry. You’ll have to get used to me doing that, now that I’m allowed to.”

“Allowed?” I smirked and Thomas hummed as he held me, which made me put my arms around his neck.

“I couldn’t very well kiss you the first time we sat at the bar together. I was a married man then.” he smiled widely and I just blushed to all high hell.

I let him get in another kiss before I finally found my voice: if I was being honest, I could kiss him all damn day, it was well worth the wait. “Okay, before you distract me  _ again _ … we need to talk.” I sighed out. Thomas released me and we both sat at the table– of course, side by side, not that I was complaining because he held my hand… and sat beside me.

“Is this the talk that’s been bothering you for a few hours?”

“Well, you can kinda say that. I just… I don’t know where to start.”

“Start from the beginning, love. Better yet: tell me how you feel. About everything. Don’t hold anything back. Remember, we’re friends first and foremost.” 

“This feels like a dream. Or, a setup.”

“Why would you say that?” he chuckled and eyed me strangely.

“You’re, you. And women like me don’t get guys like you unless it’s a prank or something like that…”

“Oh, Tamara. Why do you always put yourself down like that? I don’t know what bloke turned you into this, but I definitely want to punch him right about now!” He kissed my hand. “You are an amazing and beautiful woman, and I have always seen your worth. I’ve wanted you the first time I laid eyes on you, but I couldn’t have you back then of course.” Thomas smiled and I chuckled.

“You really wanted me even though I made an ass out of myself?”

“I thought it was sweet. You really believed that I was going to jump to my death and you had this determination on your face to stop me. I was  _ very  _ confused at first but I saw it in your eyes, and I couldn’t stop thinking about them. It scared me because I was married: I shouldn’t think about another woman like that. But with you, I couldn’t help it.”

“So, you followed me?”

“Followed you?” Thomas asked and then laughed. “No. I think that’s what sealed it for me. I truly was only shopping for groceries that day. It was fate, and I didn’t want to ignore it.”

“Plus, I was braless that day.” I rolled my eyes and Thomas laughed more.

“That  _ was  _ a bonus!”

“Seriously, I want to know where we go from here?”

“It depends on you love. Where do  _ you _ want to take this? I know where I want this to go, and I hope you want the same. My only regret is that I feel like I’m trying to force you to go in the direction I want this to go. I’m not, by the way. But I will admit that a part of me is being selfish and hoping that we’re on the same page. Are we?” he asked and looked dead at me. 

It made me think, and I mean really think. What did I want? Thomas, I wanted Thomas. I had wanted him since the bar. Then why was I so hesitant and afraid? Because this was new to me. Not that he would be my first boyfriend, I’ve had a few. I was even engaged once. But being with someone like Thomas was new, I had no idea what to expect. 

“Tamara?” I didn’t know I was silent for  _ that _ long and chuckled.

“I want to say we are.”

“Talk to me, please.”

“I want to be with you. I’ve, it’s been on my mind since we met. But I want it to be… real, if that makes sense. I don’t want any Ryan shit.” I shook my head and Thomas nodded.

“Then you want what I want. I want you to be my girlfriend. No open relationship, just me and you.”

“But, at a slow pace. Don’t expect me to move in as soon as we get back.” 

“Hmm. That never crossed my mind until now. I wouldn’t mind it but we’ll move at your pace. That way, we’ll get to know each other more.” Thomas said and gave me a kiss. I was down with that. I just was still trying to tell myself that this was real!


	14. Ash

It still felt so weird. I never imagined that after the new year, I would be Thomas Lamb’s girlfriend. Something was going to ruin this. I hated to talk things into existence but it just seemed too real to be true. 

But, nothing really changed much when we got back. I went back to work as usual and went about my days. The only exception was that the umpteen-million texts between me and Thomas were more romantic. And sex: definitely can’t leave out the sex! I let him know that I wasn’t ready to move in and get engaged or anything wild like that but I didn’t want that to stop the sex! Of course, he didn’t mind that part and even if it was only once a week, it was more sex I was getting beforehand.

I thought that it was a myth about the whole sex glow thing. But of course, my friends noticed it during one of our dinners at home: I decided to change things up and have everyone over my parents’ house for dinner. They didn’t mind so long as I did the cooking.

“Is anyone gonna notice this change in our Tamara?” Erica stared at me with a blatant look and I stopped eating my salad.

“What?”

“Yeah, I wanted to say something but I thought it was just me…” now Cassandra was staring at me. Charlie smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Did someone get herself out of the friend zone finally?” he asked and I could feel my cheeks ache.

“What? Friend zone?” Nicole switched glances between Charlie and me, and I groaned slightly.

“Can we just talk about this when my parents g–”

“No, I want to know.” of course, my dad smiled at me.

“Daddy, it’s not really importan–”

“Oh! You finally jumped that Brit’s bones?” Erica’s eyes lit up and I nearly choked on my drink.

“I don’t think Tamara’s sex life is an appropriate conversation for the table.” my mom spoke out and I was so grateful. I was about to open my mouth to thank her until the doorbell rang. While Charlie got up from the table, Erica leaned across the table, staring at me with determined eyes.

“This is after-dinner conversation and you’re going to give us  _ all _ the details!” she whispered. Not that I wanted to keep it a secret from my friends, but I knew how their reactions would be. They were already trying to nudge me into a man’s bed,  _ any _ man’s bed: they would treat this as if I had lost my virginity.

I had to be dreaming. There was no way that my brother was basically escorting Thomas into the dining room. I took in a breath and slightly gawked. “Everyone– except sis– this is Thomas Lamb. I invited him for dinner, hope you don’t mind.” Charlie gave me a look and I couldn’t help but glare at him. I could also hear the collective  _ ooohs _ my friends tried to keep low. 

“Hope it’s not a bother. I brought wine.”

“Oh dear God, he’s British…” Nicole’s eyes lit up.

“Wait… Tamara, is this  _ your  _ Brit?” Cassandra widened her eyes at me and I wanted to hide underneath the table. 

Thomas chuckled as he made his way towards my parents, shaking their hands and handing my dad the bottles of wine he brought. All that time, I was wondering why Charlie insisted that there be an empty spot next to me and now I had my answer. My cheeks flushed when, not missing a single beat, Thomas smiled widely as he gave me a lingering kiss and sat down beside me. He looked over at my friends with a gorgeous smile, melting each of them. “Well, it’s good to know that she talks about me. It’s not until recently that I became her Brit,” he smirked at them and then looked at me. “Sorry I’m late, Love. Traffic.”

“I, uh… what are you doing here?” 

“Your brother didn’t tell you, that’s why you look so shocked. He invited me to dinner. I wondered how he got my number–”

“Okay, I looked at her phone and memorized it. It’s her fault…” Charlie shrugged.

“And you just, thought it would be  _ okay _ to call him…?” I glared at him.

“If I hadn’t, we would have never met him! You,” Charlie pointed his fork at me. “Like to hold things back. Plus, this is good: we all get to know your boyfriend better.” 

“Oh my God, Thomas I am  _ so _ sorry…” I quickly looked at Thomas but he laughed.

“It’s perfectly fine. This was going to happen sooner or later. We haven’t fully had the conversation about meeting friends and family but I'm glad that it’s happening. Now, what’s for dinner?”

Dinner was, not as embarrassing as I thought it would be. It just made me anxious because the girls were lowkey flirting with Thomas while my parents were trying to ask what his intentions were with me.

Keep in mind, I’m thirty-four.

After dinner, things calmed down a bit. I felt like a school girl because Thomas didn’t leave my side. Also, the subtle touches: the hand at the small of my back when we got up from the table, all in my personal space as he helped with the dishes and then his arm firmly around my shoulder as we sat in my swing. I might as well have been in his lap!

“This PDA you got going on is adorable!” Nicole smiled at us. She was tipsy and the ash from her cigarette threatened to spill on the ground. Erica handed her the ashtray with a chuckle.

Thomas kissed me on my forehead and I warmed up. “I’ve waited a long time to be underneath her like this. She’ll have to get used to it.”

“That’s cute, you’re still in the honeymoon stage. It’ll pass,” Cassandra smirked and Thomas laughed a bit.

“I seriously doubt that. I won’t be glued to her but nothing will stop me from admiring Tamara.” goosebumps formed as he lightly traced his finger from my shoulder to my bicep and back up.

“Something tells me you’re only saying this because we’re here.” Erica gave him a look. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to be intimidating or seductive but she was definitely high.

Thomas shifted in his seat a bit and I could feel the tension in the air. I uncrossed my legs to get up. “I need another refill on wine. Anyone else?” I only looked at Thomas. He gave me a gorgeous smile as he handed me his glass.

“Something a bit stronger if you have any. If not, I’ll take another glass.” 

“Just bring back the whole bottle,” Cassandra said but I kept my eyes locked on Thomas. At that moment, I really wished there were such a thing as superpowers: I badly tried to telepathically tell him to behave himself because my friends were being oddly rude. 

Instead, I smiled back and went into the kitchen to find him something stronger. I pondered over what to give him and at the same time wondered what they would be talking about. Were they callously attacking him, making smart ass remarks or did they revert to the flirty whores over dinner, trying to woo him away from me?

“Sis,” I must have been deeper in thought than I wanted to be because Charlie’s voice scared the absolute shit out of me. “You okay?” he asked. I found a bottle of Remy and looked at him.

“I’m fine…”

“You’re not. Look, I’m sorry for pulling a dick move but you’ve gotta talk to me sooner or later.”

“I stopped being mad at you before dessert.” I grabbed a tumbler for Thomas and poured it. “Hopefully this’ll be our last drink and we can head home.” I sighed.

“Not having a good time? I thought it went over pretty decently. Mom and dad love him,” he trailed off and I turned to see what happened. Charlie was looking towards the sunroom. “Ah. The buzzards are circling.” he sighed out. I looked and saw that Erica had taken my seat. I could feel my blood boil but my heart stopped. “I’ll fix it,” Charlie grumbled and made his way to the room. 

I didn’t want to look so I made myself busy washing the little dishes that were left over. I didn’t know who I was more upset with. Nicole, I could understand: while she had been with her boyfriend forever, they had an open relationship. It would’ve been fitting for  _ her  _ to try to move in on Thomas.

Then again, they were all beautiful and more Thomas’s type than I was. That was always the story of my life: my friends grabbed all of the attention while I was the third wheel. One of my last boyfriends specifically told me that “your friends are attractively distracting”. There used to be a fifth in our circle of friends and I was thankful that she told me he tried to hit on her two days later. 

Amanda found a new job in another state and he moved with her. Last I heard, they were married with a kid.

I was that girl who had the  _ honor  _ of being talked to by a wingman while the other guys tried to talk my friends into bed. It was why I shied away from having another man in my life. But, it was happening again, and I had no idea what to do this time around. 

I gasped when I felt Thomas’s arms wrap around my waist: again, I was in my own little world. “What’s wrong love?” he damn near purred in my ear and I was beginning to melt. Instincts kicked in and I pushed my bottom towards him, his response was the start of a bulge and a light moan as his hands grasped my hips tight. “Did you lure me out for a quickie?” I felt him smile against my neck before he gave it a light nip. My entire body shuddered in delight as he pushed back, effectively pinning me against the sink. 

As much as I wanted this to happen, especially if my friends could see him ravaging me, there was a lump caught in my throat. “W-We should get back to your friends…” was all I could think of to say. 

Of course, that stopped things immediately as Thomas’s whole body relaxed. “Oh. You’re as jealous as I am.” he actually chuckled and turned me around. I wanted to cry, he thought it was funny.

“You think it’s funny?” I couldn’t look at him but Thomas gently tilted my head up by my chin, making me look at him.

“I only think it’s funny because, well, don’t take this the wrong way but… I definitely don’t care much for your friends. I have no idea why you consider them as such, they’ve been nothing but rude all night.” he surprised me.

“What?”

“I’m not sure if it’s because they’re stoned and tipsy so I could be judging them unfairly. Even still, it’s improper to flirt with your mate’s boyfriend, and they’ve been doing that all night. I expected you to jump across the table earli– oh, don’t cry pet.” I couldn’t help the stupid tears and it pissed me off because I didn’t know if they were happy or sad tears. Maybe a mixture of both? 

“It’s just… she took my seat. And you did nothing.” I felt stupid, especially when he gently wiped at my tears. But I needed to tell him how I felt. 

“I did, love. I told her to go back to her seat, and she said when you got back she would. Why would I do anything to hurt you? And, of all places, in your parents’ home?” he rested his forehead against mine.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to accuse…”

“I  _ really _ want to kick their teeth in now, whoever made you like this.” I could actually feel him bristle but then he relaxed and gave me a kiss. “It’s okay. It’s, really not but I’m starting to understand. Do you know how much it irked me when you told me about Ryan?” he let out a small laugh. “A part of it was my fault, really.”

“Really? How?”

“The day you met him. After the game, we had a little talk. Well, all he could do was talk about your body and what he wanted to do to you and I spoke my mind about that. Didn’t mean for it to come out as this big speech about him knowing your worth but it did. And he asked if I was interested in you, that if I was, he would back off. I lied and said no.” he explained. Of course, I remembered that day. All I could do was blow out a shaky laugh: all that time, we  _ both _ wanted each other and said nothing. “And then, you go on a bloody date with him and I literally had to bite my tongue to keep from telling you then how I felt about you.”

“I knew it,” I sighed out. “I was kinda talked into it by them.” I gave a slight nod towards the sunroom.

“That bit of information makes me like them even less,” he chuckled. “The best thing I ever heard was that he was horrible in bed,” he said and I laughed a little.

“I knew that made your day,” because I wasn’t mad at him anymore, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “So, the cabin was planned?”

“Yes and no. There really was supposed to be others joining us, initially my boys. I didn’t plan on it being just the two of us but I just, played everything by ear. Didn’t expect you to be a stoner or a sloppy eater.” he smiled. Thomas grasped my hips and gave me a kiss. “I couldn’t resist,” he breathed out and kissed me once more. This one was very heated and I found myself yet again pinned to the sink. “Should we retire for the night?” he didn’t have to ask me twice. I nodded and pulled him out of the kitchen, going towards my old room. It didn’t take us long to get undressed after I locked the door.

Was it because my so-called friends were still in the house that made the sex so good? Possibly...


	15. Overgrown

I had a slight dilemma. When was it too early to use those three little words? Thomas and I had known each other for quite a while but hadn’t been dating for that long. Regardless, I  _ did  _ love him as a friend beforehand: was it safe for the feeling to evolve now that he was my boyfriend? 

I had a feeling that I needed to wait until he told me that he loved me. I didn’t want to make an ass out of myself… again.

I missed him whenever he went to film, something that I wasn’t used to. It wasn’t often because he only had a minor role but it put in perspective of how filming actually worked compared to what we saw on TV. It took almost a week to shoot one episode and the major actors could be away for at least three months at a time to film one season.

I had much more respect for actors after meeting Thomas.

It had been another rough week at work and I was doing what I did best: winding down at the bar. It gave me time to think about something Thomas put in my mind, that the ones I had called my friends for the longest, really weren’t my friends. They were associates at best because friends would’ve been at the bar with me. Sure, we had our weekly get-togethers and would go out to the club every now and then. But I couldn’t think of a time where any of them would join me at the bar after work. It wasn’t like I never tried to invite them: I had pulled a Thomas plenty of times, shooting out a text to come join me because I had a rough day. But to be fair, they had families.

Thomas always said that was just an excuse…

So, yeah: I found myself alone as always at the bar, winding down. I never figured out why I didn’t drink at home, maybe I just liked the atmosphere. Nevertheless, I wasn’t letting it get me depressed and I found myself relaxing little by little. I damn near jumped out of my skin when a pair of arms wrapped around me tightly. I calmed down and smiled widely: Thomas had snuck into town. 

But then I realized that it wasn’t Thomas, their arms weren’t large enough. I swung around and my eyes widened as Ryan smiled widely at me. “Hey, babe.  _ Damn,  _ I missed you,” I was so glad that it seemed like he moved in slow motion: he was going in for a kiss. At the last second, I moved my head and he ended up kissing my cheek but a satisfied hum came out and he wrapped me in a tight hug.

I was confused. Even though I was with Thomas, I still texted Ryan. But, I didn’t think he took those texts as me still wanting to sleep with him: I thought that was squashed when the guys won the championship game! 

With the way he hugged me, and was still holding on to me, apparently not?

I looked and saw that there was a woman standing beside him, a smile on her face. It looked as though she had mixed feelings about her smile and I immediately caught on, prying myself away from his grasp. “Uh, your girlfriend might take you hugging me like this the wrong way…” I tried.

Ryan stopped hugging me and switched glances between me and the girl, finally laughing. “What? No, this is my sister. Savannah, this is Tamara.” he introduced.

“ _ Oh _ ,” I felt like shit but I shook her hand anyway. I saw the family resemblance then, the two had the same facial features, same color hair, and even eyes. They could’ve passed for twins had it not been that the two reminded me of how Charlie and I were, body shape-wise: he was lean and I was a pastry puff. But in their case, Savannah was a pretty pastry puff. “Sorry! He never told me he had a sister.”

“It’s okay, he doesn’t really talk about family. You would think that having a twin sister would be something to talk about–” oh, they  _ were _ twins. Yeah, Ryan: you should’ve mentioned that. “–meet you.”

I blinked because I clearly missed something but I smiled anyway. “Same here. You wouldn’t want to join me, would you?”

“Of course we’re going to join you! I miss getting drunk with you.” Ryan smiled.

This night wasn’t going to end up well.

Or maybe I was paranoid? The three of us sat there and drank while I got to know Savannah better. There wasn’t anything wrong with Ryan, overall: he really was someone I didn’t mind hanging around. Savannah proved to be the same way, to the point that for the first time in my life, I felt that I wanted to be actual friends with someone first.

Ryan’s hand on my knee took me off guard. I gave him a look and took his hand away. “You know, you’ve been really mean to me all night. What gives?” he asked and I sighed, more because I should’ve said something from the start.

“Ryan, I have a boyfriend.” 

“... And?”

“What do you mean,  _ and _ ?”

“You having a boyfriend has nothing to do with me being in between your legs.” he smiled widely. Savannah sighed heavily while I just stared at him.

“You’re, serious. What makes you think that I would cheat on him?”

“Because it’s me, and we have history.” he smiled at me and I sighed. 

I was about to answer back until another pair of arms wrapped around me.  _ Those _ arms I knew and I smiled, almost giggling. “Partying without me?” I could hear the smile in Thomas’s voice. I turned around and gave him a wide smile but at the same time, a part of me felt a tinge of guilt because Ryan was with me.

Never mind the fact that I was doing nothing wrong.

Ryan gave Thomas a smile. “Tom! You’re still– oh,” he saw that Thomas wrapped his arm around my waist lovingly. “ _ Tom _ is your boyfriend? Wow, okay.”

“What did I miss?” Thomas asked with a smirk but gave me a loving kiss. “Is it a problem that I’m her boyfriend?”

“No, no problem. Wait, yes there is!  _ You _ told me you didn’t want her!” he actually laughed. It was Savannah that actually moved down so that Thomas could sit beside me.

“Perhaps I lied.” he shrugged and then looked at Savannah. “You must be Ryan’s sister,” he said and introduced himself. 

The four of us were stupidly drunk by the time we decided to call it a night. Savannah and I actually got each other’s phone numbers and Thomas walked me to his car, hand-in-hand.

“Where are we going?”

“Home?” he gave me a look and laughed a bit. 

“Not driving we are!” I pulled him close to me and put my hands in his pockets. I fished out his keys and stepped away as he laughed.

“You’re right.” he approached me and before I knew it, I was pinned to his car. He smiled before he gave me a smoldering kiss. “I’m a bit upset with you,”

“What?”

“I come into town, trying to surprise you, and I find you sitting by Ryan of all people.” he kept his smile and I laughed.

“It’s not like I invited him, he snuck up on me,” I smirked. “You don’t have to be jealous of him, you should know that.”

“I know. It’s just a bit nerve-racking, pet. Maybe you should just travel with me when I go film.” 

“I think I like this level of possessiveness.” I smiled widely and he laughed.

It didn’t freak me out, honestly. I thought that it was cute that Thomas was jealous enough to basically want to superglue me to his hip. I didn’t tell him that Ryan didn’t even care that I had a boyfriend in the first place: he probably would’ve strangled him on sight!

Savannah proved to be a good friend already in such little time and I was thankful for that. She was the total opposite of her brother, not sex-craved at all and just, reserved. Before I knew it, I told her about my life, from how I met Thomas to how my other friends reacted when he came to the house. 

I didn’t expect her to be so, lively about the situation.

She would only be in town for a little while so I tried to take her around as much as possible. Because Thomas was on a small break from filming, I had expected for him to tag along as much as he could but that wasn’t the case. I found out that he had absolutely no problem with me being around Savannah: it was only her brother.

Regardless, I found myself for the first time meeting her at the AirB&B the two were renting while they were in town: Ryan was still in the process of moving altogether but he wasn’t too keen on staying in a hotel the whole time. 

I had to look twice at the place, it wasn’t what I had expected for either of them to rent. It wasn’t run down but it had seen better days. The grass was overgrown too much for my liking and I found myself looking down to make sure I didn’t step on any hidden snakes. The awning was chipped awfully and the brick on the side looked as though someone carelessly took a powerwasher to it. 

It was the beginning of a full mess.

I was about to knock on the door until it swung open and a very leggy and tan blonde walked out. She stopped only for a second and gave me a look before she turned and faced Ryan with a smile. “See you tomorrow?” her voice way too bubbly for my liking and it took all I had to not cringe: she thought that I was there for him.

To make matters worse, Ryan shrugged but gave her a smile. “I’m going to be pretty busy tomorrow. I’ll call you. Princess,” he damn near purred and put all of his attention on me. The woman narrowed her eyes at me before leaving in a huff. “You look good enough to eat.” he made it a point to say it loud enough for the blonde to hear and I rolled my eyes with a chuckle.

“You’re terrible.” I shook my head and went inside.

“What? You’re my number one and you know that.” again, he showed off. I turned to look at him but I caught a glimpse of the woman slamming her car door and peeling away from the driveway. I finally laughed.

“What was that all about?”

“Eh. She thought I was joking about not having an actual relationship with her. You have great timing; she actually thinks I’m going to invite her to move in with me!”

“How long have you known her?”

“... hard to tell, really,” he made his way into the kitchen. I had to admit that while the outside of the house wasn’t all that, inside was nice. “The unimportant ones are well, unimportant.” he went into the fridge and pulled out a water. 

“Oh my God…” I laughed. “You really are terrible!” 

“So, are you still with Tom?”

“Of course. Why would that change in what, two weeks?” 

“You never know.” he looked at me and I just huffed. I  _ did _ take the water that he gave me and went into the living room. Savannah came through and gave us a smile.

“Is she gone?” she eyed her brother and he nodded. “Ugh, I didn’t like that one.”

“Me neither,” I laughed. “But your brother has weird taste so…”

“Excuse you? I have excellent taste in women,” he said with a lot of dignity. “Am I allowed to join you two this time?”

“Nope. Girls’ night only.” Savannah stuck her tongue out. I downed half of my water and got up.

“Don’t wait up.” I joked and the two of us left.


	16. Legend

For a change of pace, Savannah and I went to a club across town. I had been there maybe twice before: it was a bit out of the way, especially with me having no transportation. But since Thomas let me take his car, I figured why not?

“He’s really sweet on you.”

“Hmm?” I parked the car.

“Thomas. He really loves you.” Savannah said, and I felt my cheeks ache at the thought of it.

“You think so?”

“I don’t know too many men who would let their girlfriend take their car to go out clubbing.” she chuckled and got out. Although she had a good point, I was still in slight denial.

“I really don’t go out like that, only once in a while. Guess he knows that and didn’t think it would be a problem.” I shrugged, but she gave me a look. 

“Why don’t you just tell him that you love him? It’s so obvious that you do.”

“It’s way too soon,” I shook my head as we went inside. It wasn’t a club, club to be honest. There was a small raised platform that served as a dancefloor, along with a stage and a DJ’s booth. But the place had switched hands so many times, the latest owner was just fine with it being a karaoke spot. The pool tables were a bonus, and there were plenty of tournaments that kept the place up and running. 

“There is no time limit on love.” Savannah chuckled. She was right. Why was I being such a teen about this? I had long since recognized that I had no problem becoming his wife, but I had always thought it made me crazy. 

Then again, I had known a few people who had gotten married in less than a year. 

I was about to say something until I looked and saw two familiar faces across the way: Cassandra and Erica. My brow crinkled, and I went through my messages, just to see if I had missed one saying that they were going out. Nope, there were none. I knew that Thomas told me to forget about them, but a part of me couldn’t help but hurt a little.

They had gone out without me.

True, they could say the same about me and I felt like I was the pot calling the kettle black: I hadn’t even told them I befriended Ryan’s twin sister, let alone invite  _ them _ out with us. Still, this wasn’t a regular spot for us, which meant that they tried to make sure I wouldn’t see them even if I went out by myself.

“You okay?” Savannah asked, and I immediately shook my head.

“My friends are here,” I said and watched them once more. They were with two guys who weren’t their husbands, laughing and drinking. The men led them to a table, not even looking in our direction, and I took that as my cue to sit at the bar unnoticed. 

“Without inviting you?” 

“Well to be fair, me and you are here and I said dick to them about it.” I shrugged, and we ordered our drinks.

“That’s not the point. The point is, they should’ve invited you. You  _ always _ think about them, when will they think about  _ you  _ for a change? It’s about time you started treating them like they treat you!” she huffed out. She was right, wasn’t she? It  _ did _ feel like they went out of their way to not invite me, going out to a place that we hardly ever partied at. Did they feel that I would snitch on them if they were meeting other men? I wasn’t that type of friend. I would’ve shown that I didn’t like the idea, but not to the point of  _ telling _ .

No, Savannah was right. This wasn’t the first time I got zero invites and only heard about their wild nights on the town the next day because Nicole would slip up and say something. I always wondered why I saw less and less of her whenever we did a girl’s night out.

I was gonna let them have their fun, and not worry about it.

That concept didn’t take long because of course, they saw me when it was fill-up time. The two looked at me like they were deer caught in headlights for a split second before a smile crept on Erica’s face.

“What are you doing here?” maybe it was because I was very tipsy, on the close side of fully drunk, but it sounded like I wasn’t supposed to be there. At least in her eyes, I wasn’t supposed to be.

“Drinking with my friend.” if she was gonna act casual, so would I. 

Of course, that made both of them widen their eyes a bit. “A friend? Who?”

“You don’t know her,” I took my shot of Crown and sipped on my Long Island. “I’ve been showing her around town,” I had no idea why I felt like explaining anything to them, but again, that tiny part of me still wanted them to be my friends.

“You know, ever since you started screwing-”

“Dating,” I corrected Erica and ordered another round of shots for me and Savannah: she was reserved, but she could definitely drink someone under the table! “I’m  _ dating _ Thomas.”

“Whatever makes you sleep better at night,” she huffed and maybe it was that last shot of Crown, but something came over me as I swung around and glared at her. “You stopped calling us and now you have this new friend…”

“Tamara, you’re very drunk right now. Let’s just take you home.” Cassandra tried. It was a lie and I was confused about why  _ they  _ were acting weird. I was low-level drunk, still had my wits and I didn’t like that they were trying to treat me like I couldn’t hold my liquor.

Erica sighed and grabbed my arm, about to pull me out of my seat. No sooner had I opened my mouth to protest, Savannah came from nowhere and shoved Erica away from me.

“Get your hands off of her, she’s not a child! She’s staying here.” she glared at the two. The move made both Erica and Cassandra widen their eyes at her but Erica automatically went on the defense, getting in Savannah’s face.

“Who the fuck is this fat bitch talking to? I’ll fuc-” and that was all she was allowed to say. Without warning, Savannah headbutted the absolute  _ shit _ out of Erica and because Erica was a tower, Savannah caught all nose, busting it immediately. 

I wasn’t a fighter, I never was. When shit hit the fan, my fight or flight instincts always screamed flight and I followed through with that. But seeing how quickly Savannah defended me and herself, with no hesitation, made something snap in me. Cassandra went to swing on Savannah but I jumped out of my seat and beat her to the punch, literally, with what probably looked like a spear and fist combination. 

I took out the frustrations I had from that dinner out on her, even though I should’ve pounced on Erica but the headbutt had knocked her on her ass and Savannah resorted to kicking her. The only two bouncers who worked there had grabbed us before we could do any more damage and we found ourselves kicked out. Adrenaline still rushing, my only regret was that I hadn’t finished my drink. I looked over at Savannah once I caught my breath and saw that she was shaking. Soon, the shakes evolved and she started laughing. 

“You crazy son-of-a-bitch!” I laughed along with her.

“She shouldn’t have touched you.”

Everything was a blur from there and before I knew it, me and Savannah were sitting on my couch. I had seen glimpses of blood on her forehead before but at least I knew that it wasn’t hers. Either way, she held an ice pack to her forehead while I nursed one on my hand. 

I didn’t know how long Ryan and Thomas stood there in silence, looking at us but at least Thomas stopped pinching the bridge of his nose. “Do I really want to know what bloody happened…?”

“Not really.” I shook my head and Savannah snorted. I looked over at her and for the umpteenth time since leaving the club, I joined her and laughed.

“Well. Since they’re both laughing, I say that they’re fine and whoever they beat up deserved it.” Ryan chuckled.

“No regrets,” Savannah said and I nodded in agreement. Thomas sighed and sat beside me, taking a look at my hand. Completely sober, my hand hurt like hell and I wanted to cry like a baby and be pampered. The bruises looked awful on my knuckles so I was sure that Cassandra’s face looked worse.

“You should see the other two,” I tried to joke, and that put Savannah  _ and  _ Ryan in hysterics. Thomas wasn’t having it and I straightened my face. “Sorry.”

“This isn’t like you. I don’t know about Savannah-”

“Yeah, this is her, all the way!” Ryan continued to laugh. “Tom, calm down. I’m like 98.3% certain they didn’t start it.”

“He’s right. She touched her and then called me a bitch.” Savannah huffed out and laid back into the couch.

“We’re taking you two to the hospital and I want to hear all about it.” Thomas crossed his arms and both me and Savannah sighed heavily.

Technically, there wasn’t anything wrong with either of us: my hand was severely sprained and Savannah was a fucking tank! Still, Thomas kept his sour look throughout the entire visit but after my meds kicked in, it didn’t bother me as much. When we got back to my place, Savannah and Ryan left. I immediately stripped out of my club clothes and went to the shower.

“So, you’re going to just strut around naked like some legend?” Thomas was right behind me, laughing.

I turned around and saw that he was naked as well. “You love this legend.” I joked.

“That I do.” he had a serious look on his face all of the sudden and it felt like my heart had stopped.

I think the meds kicked in a little  _ too  _ much.

“What?” I blinked at him and he laughed fully.

“I love you, Tamara Henderson.”

“Please tell me that my meds kicked in  _ too _ much: you even know my last name.”

“You silly bird,” Thomas continued to laugh but cupped my face. “Do you think it’s too early for me to say it?”

“I…” I thought about what I wanted to say. For once, I needed to be honest with him. “Fuck. I love you too, Thomas.”

“Thank  _ God _ .” he smiled widely and gave me a passionate kiss. I got a feeling of euphoria that coursed through my veins as we kissed. For the first time in a long time, my life felt absolutely complete.

Why did I wait so long to tell him that?


	17. Wild

Something woke me up from sleep, and it took my foggy brain too long to realize exactly what. Once it worked fully, I gasped and moaned at the feeling, moving my hips along with the tongue that lapped slowly in between my legs. Thomas had one leg pinned down to the bed while he secured the other on his shoulder. He hummed when I moved, which made me arch more towards his mouth. 

Thomas Lamb had turned me into a morning person, for sure!

He still wouldn’t let his hair grow out, so I had no other choice but to clench at the sheets as his free hand made its way to my hip, making me move along with his tongue. I moaned loudly as I threw my head back into the pillow and my body let out an involuntary tremble. I guess he took that as a sign because he tongued my sex with more intent. I tried to hold it in but quickly gave up and succumbed to thrashing about on the bed.

I was just about to have my big orgasm until Thomas stopped and sat up. “Not yet,” he smirked and motioned for me to turn around. Once I caught my breath enough to move, I bit at my lips and obeyed, getting on my hands and knees. I trembled in anticipation, especially when I felt his hand on my hip. I couldn’t explain it, but I absolutely loved his large hands on me, didn’t matter where he placed them. 

I expected his usual gentleness, but it took my breath away as Thomas damn near speared into me with a groan. It usually took some wiggling about before he could penetrate, but I was so wet from him eating me out, he had no problem slamming into me. My muscles automatically clenched against his girth and we both moaned as he throbbed in response. His other hand gripped the other side of my hips and he began thrusting into me. It wasn’t rough, but they were deep thrusts; because I was already worked up–and he was already hitting my spot from that position–it didn’t take long before my body convulsed from the big orgasm he stopped earlier. I clenched the sheets harder as I yelled out his name, still shaking uncontrollably. 

That whole, men in their fifties can’t have sex was a fucking myth.

I lost track of time as my orgasm continued, and I almost lost my voice. Thomas continued to thrust steadily, even as he grunted loudly when he came. I actually felt it when he emptied into me and I quivered even more. Thomas stayed inside of me as he leaned down and planted soft kisses up my spine, making me tingle once more. “Fuck…” I sighed out and smiled.

“Give me a few hours,” he chuckled against my skin and I managed a laugh. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” I groaned as he slowly pulled out. I found myself cuddled with and smiled at the kiss. “But it’s bad luck to say that right now.”

“Say what, when? Telling you I love you?” he asked, and I nodded.

“During sex.”

“But it’s afterward,” he chuckled.

“Emotions are still all over the place. Could be still riding that high of your orgasm…”

“The longer I’m around you, the more I realize that Americans are weird.” he shook his head, and I narrowed my eyes at him. “It’s actually the best time to say it. It’s the equivalent of liquid courage.”

“Of course,” I rolled my eyes and laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“I’ve been thinking. Why don’t you come to Vegas with me?” he suddenly asked and I blinked at him.

“Vegas? Like,  _ Las _ Vegas? When are you leaving for Vegas?”

“I told you already, Love,” he pulled me closer to him. “It’s for one of my projects. I’ll be away for a couple of weeks, sounds familiar?”

“Oh, I thought you were going back to Canada for that! You want me to be with you for two weeks? What about my job?”

“What about it? You have some vacation time, right?”

“No, I used it all up for that extravagant trip to the cabin. I’d have to quit my job to come with you.” I joked.

“Well, then… quit.” he shrugged, and I found myself, once again, blinking at him.

“No, Thomas. That’s not how life works,” I finally laughed. “I have bills and an apartment to pay for.”

“Let me do that.” he continued to act as though this was a normal thing.

“That’s, not your job?”

“Then, let me hire you as my personal assistant if that would make you feel better.” he laughed fully.

“You’re not gonna drop this, are you?”

“Absolutely not. I want you with me on this trip, and if that means I have to care for you–which I have no problem doing–then I don’t see the problem. I  _ want  _ to take care of you.” he looked at me and I simply sighed.

“Fine, fine! But I’m looking for another job the minute we get back.”

I didn’t know why I gave him such a hard time when all he wanted to do was take care of me and love me. I guess it was because of my track record with men and me just looking into different scenarios. What would happen if we didn’t work out, and I was jobless? My parents would take me back, but that was a step backward to me: I hadn’t lived at home since two weeks after I turned eighteen.

I tried to tell myself not to think about it so much and enjoy being in Vegas for the first time ever.

What Thomas failed to mention was that he had rental property there. I expected to be in a hotel room, so imagine my surprise when we arrived at a condo complex.

“There’s not much inside, I don’t stay here as much. But it’s better to have a place here rather than paying for a room all the time.”

“... how much money  _ do  _ you have?” I asked after the front desk greeted him by his first name and we were on the elevator.

“Enough,” he chuckled.

I won’t lie, his house felt more lived-in than the condo, but it was a condo overlooking the Vegas main strip. It was mid-morning, so there weren't many bright and flashing lights from the casinos. Still, I was stuck at the window.

Thomas wrapped his arms around my waist and gave me a tender kiss on my shoulder blade. “It’ll get annoying soon enough. Which is why I have light darkening shades,” he chuckled. “Unfortunately, I have to get to work. Anything you want,” he turned me around and handed me a credit card. “Make sure you get.”

“No spending limit?” I smirked, and he gave me a kiss.

“Don’t bankrupt me, woman.” 

To be honest, I wasn’t that type of woman. When Thomas left, I stayed around the condo for a good while before I was even hungry enough to venture out. It felt weird to eat alone, but I couldn’t say no to a buffet. After stuffing my face, I pulled some money out of my account, instead of his, and hit the slots in the adjoining casino. It was my first time gambling and yeah, it was okay. I mean, I doubled my money and the slot machine I chose had distracting colors and sounds, but I knew when to stop and head out.

There was a reason casinos didn’t have clocks, and I almost fell into that trap.

The rest of our stay was pretty fantastic. I was wined, dined and definitely spoiled and also, I had a lot of fun. Thomas showed me what it would be like if we lived together, and I figured that was his end game in this whole  _ vacation _ . If I had to be honest, I didn’t mind it. When he and I first started dating, I was afraid that it was all a hoax, or that I was dreaming. That I would wake up and find out that everything was just a weed-induced, elaborate dream.

But that wasn’t the case. Our relationship was real, and it was safe to say that we both loved each other  _ for real _ . So, if he was to actually ask me to move in with him, I would say yes. The whole him taking care of me thing still scared me shitless, but I meant what I said about finding another job.

Our next-to-last day in Vegas and I was still riding the high from watching him act in person. This was the project that he was working on when we first met, and I finally got a true glimpse as far as what he had been working on.

We were lounging in the bed for the night, watching-but-not-watching TV; I more or less was in a total comfort zone as he ran his fingers through my dreads and scalp.

“Did you enjoy our little vacation?” I could hear the smile and smirked, cuddling more into him.

“I definitely did. I could get used to this.” I hummed.

“Honestly, I prefer the quietness of our town. But if you’re referring to me spoiling you? Anytime.” he said, and I chuckled. 

I was about to say something until there was a knock on the front door. I quirked a brow and looked at Thomas, who also gave a weird look. “I wonder who that can be…” He shrugged and got out of bed, throwing on his jeans at least. I watched as he left the bedroom, debating on putting on clothes myself, but realized I wouldn’t be much of a threat. Besides, it wasn’t actually late, but I figured that if he was expecting company, he would’ve told me.

I heard him open the door, but then whoever it was, their conversation was muffled and quick before the door closed. I heard some rustling in the kitchen, and then Thomas came back with a square box and two forks.

I swear I was gonna get diabetes being with him.

“What’s that?” I sat up in the bed and nodded at the box.

“Sweets for my sweet.” his smile would always be contagious, and I smiled back, shaking my head.

“You’re so corny.”

“But you love me.” he placed the box in front of me and left for the bathroom.

“That’s beside the point!” I chuckled and opened the box.

I wasn’t expecting any of it, at all. It was a cake and not any assorted arrangement of sugary sweets. It was large enough for the two of us to finish if we were gluttons; otherwise, there would be leftovers. I was more in shock by the words written on top of the cake, though:

_ Will You Marry Me? _

… was I high? Had Thomas snuck an edible on me during dinner and I finally achieved being so high that I really hallucinated? I squinted at the words, but they didn’t change. “Uh, Thomas, I think they delivered the wrong ca-” I looked up and gasped. He had come back into the bedroom and in his hand was a small black box. I had seen way too many movies to not know what was in that box.

The actual confirmation came when he went down to one knee and opened the box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring. “You would think as an actor, I would know how to deliver a speech, but I’m bloody awful at them. This just, feels right, Tamara. I love you and I want you to be my wife.”

“Oh, God…” a tear fell before I could stop it. I didn’t know what to do  _ or _ say, all I could do was take in everything around me at the moment. The man was actually proposing to me. And the cake looked like it was a tier from a wedding cake. “Was, was this whole trip a setup?” I found my words and looked at him. 

Okay, not what he was expecting me to say, but I never knew how to do conversations right.

Right on cue, Thomas blinked and gave me a look. “Well, no. Not really.” he sighed and kneeled completely by the bedside, I was sure that being down on one knee wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world. “The one thing I’ve wanted for a while is to marry you. As far as when I wanted to propose? Well. Believe me, I wanted to do it with more flair than this. But, after I invited you to Vegas, I couldn’t pass it up. Especially seeing that the chapel is literally two minutes away.” he smirked.

I let out a short laugh. “Sorry if it sounds like you had all of this planned to me! How convenient that I can see that chapel from here. What time does it close; do we have time to get hitched?” I joked.

“... if you say yes now, we have an hour.” he didn’t crack a smile.

Again, I was speechless. Thomas  _ could _ joke around, but I had gotten to know him very well: he always gave himself away quickly. But when he didn’t smirk, I knew he was serious.

Wait…  _ he was serious _ ??

“Oh, my God. You’re serious.”

“Yes. If you don’t want to, we can definitely wait. I just figured, two birds, one stone? But I need for you to say yes first.” there was his smirk, and I blushed.

The benefits of it all: the only friend I could think of at the time to even have as a bridesmaid was Savannah. I wasn’t a  _ look at me, I’m flashy  _ type of woman: a small wedding would be perfect for me so this quick and easy option wasn’t so bad. There wouldn’t be a lot of fuss about anything that a bride usually fussed about, just me and the man that I loved bounding ourselves to each other.

The cons: my family would shit a brick to find out I eloped.

But Thomas was right. This was the perfect opportunity to get married. And who was to say that we had to even tell anyone yet? Maybe if we did this now, later on, the families would have time to help with the bigger plans.

“Do you understand how wild this is?” I finally asked him and he chuckled.

“Yes, I know. Again, if it’s too much for you, I insist that you tell me. Unless you don’t want to marry me.”

“O-Oh. I…” my cheeks ached as I realized my actual answer. “I do. Okay. Fuck it, let’s do this.” I smiled and nodded. His eyes lit up and I don’t think he heard anything else I said after technically telling him yes. Thomas pulled me into a loving, lingering kiss and smiled back.

I couldn’t say that my wedding wasn’t what I expected or underwhelming because I never imagined myself even getting married! I never thought about my imaginary wedding like most women. Hell, I couldn’t find a man that I liked enough to think about being  _ engaged _ to until I met Thomas, and our engagement lasted all of one hour. The chapel was literally within walking distance, took five minutes to get there. Our witnesses were a couple who  _ just _ got married and were thrilled to share our happy moment. I stuttered and cried through my vows while I could tell that Thomas held back tears through his.

And just like that, I was officially Mrs. Tamara Lamb. We went back to the condo to eat what was now our wedding cake and made hot, passionate lo–okay, it was wild and rough sex all over the damn condo! Afterward, I couldn’t stop staring at my ring set or him, not wanting to fall asleep in fear that this really was a dream.

I couldn’t believe I finally got what I wanted: Thomas Lamb, a champion soccer player, and international actor was my husband.


End file.
